


Smoke and Ink

by kaneshon



Series: True Pairs [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alpha Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Alpha Lancelot (Merlin), Alpha Merlin (Merlin), Alpha/Alpha, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arthur Gets Called Pet Names, Beta Gwaine, Beta Percival, Crush at First Sight, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, Implied Relationships, Insecurity, Love at First Sight, M/M, Merlin Has Way Too Many Pet Names, Merlin is Too Charming, Misunderstandings, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Freya, Omega Guinevere, POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Possessive Merlin (Merlin), Protective Merlin, Romance, Scenting, Tattoo Artist Merlin, Tattoos, True Mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:06:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 32,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27099319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaneshon/pseuds/kaneshon
Summary: Arthur Pendragon has always kept his heart reserved, knowing that with him being attracted to Alphas as an Alpha will not really lead him to those True Pair romance people loved to talk about. But that very idea is challenged when Gwen brings him to an old, small music store where he meets an Alpha working there with icy-blue eyes and a scent of smoke and ink that sets his heart beating once again.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: True Pairs [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1617124
Comments: 27
Kudos: 193





	Smoke and Ink

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: First things first, let's get some housekeeping out of the way! To those who knew me with my username before, I decided it's time to have a little change. I've been into flowers and their meanings lately (mostly intrigued) and it's been quite a few years since I did anything to this profile so...tata. Kaneshon. A Japanese version for carnations. I wanted Azaleas or Chrysanthemum but sadly, both are taken. :( Kaneshon it is! 
> 
> Now, secondly: I just wrote this for fun. I doubt it's any good rofl, especially that ah--whatever scene that ended this thing to an M. Though, tbh, I'm not sure if I should categorise this as an M or a T--but you guys let me know once you read it. With that being said, the pace is quite fast in this one and I didn't really think much about it besides wanting to write an Alpha/Alpha pairing that's full of fluff. I also don't know if this fandom is still thriving butttt, enjoy! (P.S. I will continue the Alpha-Omega Thing story soon! :D) Enjoy and let me know what you thought! (shuffles away nervously) Until next time!

Arthur sighed sufferingly as he walked beside Gwen. She was beaming when the store that looked like it could use a fresh coat of paint came into view. Located at a corner at the edges of the city, there was an old music store that no one truly visited anymore. He doubted, with how busy people here were and how everything was accessible online. Holding back a groan when Gwen grabbed his arm, pulling him to the entrance, he allowed himself to be dragged inside. The door opened and cold air of the air-conditioner hit his face. Shuddering, he couldn’t help the fond smile when Gwen left him standing there as she hurried to the side of the shop where they had old-school tracks stocked. Pulling at his tie lower, his white shirt rolled up to his elbows, he took in the coolness. 

A little bored, he moved to one shelf to stare at the latest hits. There were some bands he never heard before. Taking an album, he looked at the track list and resisted the urge to snort at the name of the songs. And this was why he disliked music these days. 

“Hey,” a voice caught his attention as someone stood next to him. Glancing at the man with brown hair and sparkling eyes, he blinked at the greeting. He pointed at the album. “That’s one of my favourites.”

The man had been wearing a dark shirt with worn-out letters that no doubt spelt of a band name and a pair of ripped jeans. He was also wearing a navy-blue beanie. For a brief moment, the Alpha within him noted the man’s secondary gender. Beta. 

Pausing at the intruding thought, he tossed it aside and gave him a tight a smile. He placed the album back on the shelf. 

“Ah, not a fan of modern music, then?” he said, reaching to pick another album and handing it over to Arthur. “Maybe this will be more of your taste?”

He gingerly took it from the man and looked at the track list immediately. It wasn’t like he could judge a song just based on the name but he wanted to look like he knew what he was doing. 

Fuck, was Gwen done yet? 

“Well?” the man said. 

“Ah, well,” Arthur said, clearing his throat. “Thanks, but I’m just waiting for my friend to pick whatever she needed. I’m not interested in buying anything from here.”

The man blinked, clearly taken aback by his curt reply. A frown crossed his face before he sighed, nodding. Tugging the beanie further down his head, he said, “I’ll go take care of your mate then.”

“Sorry?” Arthur said, irritation bloomed when the man didn’t even dignify a look at him as he walked to Gwen. The fuck? “Rude,” he muttered under his breath. 

Assuming just because Gwen was an Omega and he was an Alpha that they would be a mated pair, that was rude. Didn’t he clearly hear him say she was his friend? Then again, he was a Beta. It wasn’t as if he could smell their different scents _clearly_ not mixed together. Scratching the back of his neck, he walked to the counter to wait for his friend. The register was empty of any worker. And for a second, he wondered if it was just that man working here when someone walked out of the back room. 

A tall, lithe man with pale skin and wearing a dark shirt with ripped pair of dark jeans and army boots walked up to the counter. Slightly wavy hair and styled in a perfect mess paired with piercing icy-blue eyes, the man before him looked like he belonged on the cover of a Vogue magazine. And speaking of piercing…the man had ear piercings on his left and right ear. The man’s right arm, at least the one closest to his sleeves had a band of tattoos followed by hands covered in rings and wrists wrapped with chain bracelets. 

This man was a vision and his breath hitched in his throat when those icy eyes met his. 

Before his scent hit him. Smoky and—he had a smell that reminded him of the finest inks. An Alpha. 

And for some reason, his heart skipped a beat followed by a wash of disappointment. 

The man before him raised his eyebrows, disappearing underneath his fringe before he tapped a finger on the wooden counter. Snapping out of his thoughts, he tried to keep a blank face when those pink lips tilted downwards. 

“Sorry?” Arthur said, refusing to feel like he had come across like an idiot. 

“You got something I can ring ya up, mate?” the man said, his voice deep and settling in Arthur’s head, slotting into the crevices of his mind like they belonged there. 

“Ah, no,” Arthur said and as if he had flipped a switch, he added, “I’m not your mate.”

The man narrowed his gaze. There was a certain spark between them that had Arthur’s heart racing against his chest. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to stay and find out what it was. Even if he was aware that he was already attracted to him. 

“Okay,” the man said, his voice clearly mocking. 

“Here,” Gwen said, appearing beside him, placing an album on the counter. 

The man turned his gaze at the Omega before his lips tilted upwards into a smile. A smile that fit him so well and stole his breath away. The Beta man had moved to stand next to the other Alpha, helping him out. 

“Gotcha,” the lithe man said, winking at Gwen. Charmed, his friend giggled, slapping Arthur’s arm as she eyed him. 

Wincing, he rubbed his arm. She might look small, but she was one strong woman. After the album was paid for, she wrapped a hand on the same arm she hurt, dragging him out of the store. His heart skipped a beat as he turned to take one last look at that Alpha. When the icy-eyes met his, he immediately looked back at Gwen. He kept quiet as they walked away from the shop. 

“He’s cute,” Gwen said, catching his attention. 

“Sorry?” he said, glancing at her. 

She released his arm before jabbing a thumb over her shoulder. “The cashier. He’s cute.”

Arthur blinked before his cheeks warmed at the smirk crossing her lips. She touched his arm again before she took in a deep breath. Gwen didn’t say anything else, changing the subject as quickly as she started it, but he couldn’t stop thinking about those eyes and the beautiful smile even when he finally gone home. 

And he hated how even as Gwen sent him back home in her car, she simply smiled, mentioning to go to the shop sometime soon. And she was definitely doing it on purpose.

***

The second time Arthur found himself in the still-needing-a-fresh-coat-of-paint shop, it was a week from his last visit. This time, Gwen wasn’t with him. It had been a tiring week at work. While he would’ve loved nothing more but to sleep for the weekend, he was forced to promise to Marc that he would attend his moving to a new branch party. And he knew his closest work friend loved music from this one band. It wasn’t as if he couldn’t buy a virtual album and gift it to him. 

It was just…well, a physical copy would be better, wouldn’t it?

He was going to go with that excuse. 

Ignoring the way his heart skipped a beat as he saw the same tall man at the cashier, he tried to continue his way inside the shop. Only for him to stop short at the entrance when the man tossed his head back and laughed at what the Beta was showing on his phone. His grin was brilliant and stole his breath just like the first time he saw him. Blushing, he turned his gaze away when the pair stopped talking, turning their attention on him. 

“Oh, hey,” the Beta said, catching his attention. “Welcome.”

He briefly considered them recognising him but when the Beta and the Alpha simply gave him one more glance, going back to what they were doing before, he was sure they didn’t. Sighing in relief, he hurried to an aisle where he had seen the album from his last visit. Searching through the shelves, he paused when he couldn’t find it. 

Fuck, where was it? 

After a few minutes, he ran a hand through his hair. 

Maybe it was in the other aisle?

Just as he was about to move, someone stood next to him. Smell of the finest ink and smoke wafted into his nose, forcing him to freeze. The scent was familiar, one that he hadn’t been able to forget since he left the shop. And now being so close to him, his heart hammered loudly against his chest. Tightening his reigns on his need to inhale the scent until he was smothered around it, slightly disgusted at his desire, he glanced at the person next to him. 

His suspicions was confirmed that it was indeed the Alpha when icy-blue eyes met his. 

“You need help, mate?” the man said, voice smooth. 

Arthur let the words settle in his brain before he snapped his attention back to the question. Knowing his cheeks were now pinkish from the fluster, he said, “I’m not your mate.”

That came out harsher than he intended, cursing himself inside. 

Why the hell did he always clam up when he was flustered? 

“Still a prick, I see,” the man next to him said, murmuring. 

Snappinghis head to look at the slightly taller man, he said, “Excuse me? Did you just call me a prick?”

The Alpha merely raised his eyebrows, once again disappearing beneath his perfectly-messy dark hair. Ones that Arthur wished he could touch because they looked so soft. Fingers twitched, his curled them into fists. He was being goddamn embarrassing and if Gwen was here, she would have laughed. 

He was just an attractive Alpha who might not even be interested in the same secondary gender. Get a fucking grip, Arthur. 

“Yeah?” the man said, sucking his bottom lip before releasing it, grinning. His canines showed just a bit, a definite sign he was an Alpha. “You gonna deny it?”

The voice was amused, but he could detect a hint of ego in them. One that rattled Arthur’s own Alpha. His baser instincts still hated being challenged and that was what it felt like at the moment. 

“You’re being a child,” Arthur said, scoffing as he turned his attention back to the shelves. “You don’t even know me.”

“Well,” the man said. “The way you speak to me says it all.”

“What?” Arthur frowned, keeping his gaze straight at the albums. 

“All posh and all,” the man said, shrugging when the blond-haired man turned his attention to him at last. “Must’ve been a rich prat when you were younger, ay?”

A slight flash of irritation at being blatantly judged had him squaring his shoulders. The icy-blue eyes flashed momentarily, the man standing straighter. There was definite shift in the air, a spark and a crackle. While it definitely made its way underneath his skin, it was more heat of frustration than anything. 

Just when he thought he found a good Alpha. 

“You don’t know me,” Arthur said, taking a small step towards him. “Don’t speak as if you do.”

Those eyes pierced right through his own, and if he allowed himself to think at the moment, he would’ve realised how close their faces were. The dark-haired Alpha only further leaned forward, a smirk crawling on his face. And fuck him for looking that attractive with that smug look on his face. 

“Sure,” the taller man said, pulling away after a beat. “I apologise. That was uncalled for.” 

Before Arthur could say anything else, the man grinned, sharp once again showing his canines that had his stomach flip-flopping. For a brief moment, he allowed to wonder how those teeth would feel against his skin, creating a mark on him. Instead, he merely gave him a curt nod, taking a step back to widen the distance between them as he cleared his throat. Forcing himself to take discreet deep breaths, he went back to scanning the shelves. Just to occupy himself so he wouldn’t do something stupid. Like actually blurting out his small fantasies. 

He just met the man. 

“What are you looking for?” the man asked. 

“Ah,” Arthur said, clearing his throat again. “Well…” He pulled out his phone from his pant pockets, opening the album site. He showed it to the man. “This one.”

His breath hitched in his throat when the man leaned forward to take a look. Even if it was just for a second before he pulled away, his scent completely covered Arthur’s face. And he liked it. It was a calming scent. One that…he could associate with home. Slightly alarmed at that thought, he swallowed past his dry throat, keeping his face neutral. 

“I know that one,” the man said as he gestured him to follow him. They moved to one aisle away from where they were. Swiftly, long, pale fingers picked the very album from the shelves. Handing it over to Arthur, he said, “This is the one.”

And just like he said, it was indeed the album. Relieved that it was here, he nodded. “Thanks.”

“Come on, let’s check that out,” he said before he paused. “Unless you have something else to buy?”

“No,” Arthur said, shaking his head. “This is it.”

“Wonderful.” The tall man left him standing there for a second as he walked back to the counter. Arthur hesitated just for a second before he followed him. The other Alpha quoted the price after placing the album in a small paper bag, placing it on the counter. “Thanks, come back any time.”

Arthur knew that those were the words of a seller. Not from the man himself but like an idiot, he couldn’t stop his heart from skipping a beat. A tiny part of him, the other side of him, almost preened that he was wanted around. Resisting the urge to slap his secondary gender away, he grabbed the bag and nodded. Stiffly, he walked out of the music store. It was only down a few steps that he finally relaxed. Sighing, he glared at the brown bag in his hands before tossing a look at the store behind him. 

Biting his bottom lip, he forced his body to continue walking. Maybe he would be able to come around soon.

***

The third time he came around the shop was by complete accident. It was the weekends and while he took a walk by himself in the city, his mind wandered and he found himself back to the same store he had left a week ago. Blinking, his face heated up. Fuck, had he actually wandered here by accident? 

A flash of the lithe, handsome man crossed his mind. 

And a weird sensation washed over him. The need for him to walk inside just to see his face again. It was odd because he hadn’t been this attached to anyone else before. The last blazing romance he had had been three years ago. And even that hadn’t really triggered his Alpha into wanting to bond. Scratching the back of his neck, he hesitated for a second. Just then the door of the store opened and the very said man he was contemplating about rushed out of the store. He was talking loudly, not looking at him. And Arthur who hadn’t expected his sudden presence remained standing there, not moving from his path.

The man slammed against his chest, taking Arthur off guard. Both almost tripped and fell. A strong arm wrapped around his waist while the other grabbed his arm, stopping him from crashing to the pavement on his back. Stifling a gasp, he placed both hands on those pale arms, eyes wide as he finally came face-to-face with the other Alpha. 

The man searched his face, his icy-blue eyes shining brighter than he had seen on anyone before. Cheeks heating up, he took almost sick satisfaction at the scent of ink and smoke settling around him like a warm blanket. The strength in those arms and the warmth radiating from the taller man had him want to hug him. Just to stay in this place longer.

Instead, he harshly pushed the man away from him, frowning. 

“Fuck, sorry, mate,” the man said, blinking as he righted himself up. “I didn’t see you there.”

“Couldn’t you have watched where you were going?” Arthur snapped, flustered at the gaze on him. “You blind or something?”

The man’s eyes narrowed, standing straighter. “I just apologised. I didn’t see you. Besides, you were standing right at the bloody entrance.”

Arthur wanted to slap himself when he blurted out, “I was going to go inside or did you want to chase away a customer with you bumping people and all?”

“The fuck?” The man took a step towards him, his shoulders squaring. That immediately sent a shiver running down his spine, his own inner Alpha warning him to keep his guard up. “You tryna’ start something?”

Even if he was attracted to the taller man, he knew that his inner Alpha wouldn’t tolerate a fight from another Alpha. It would end up into a fist fight before he could stop himself. But he didn’t want to fight. Cursing for his reflex to be mean when flustered, he searched in his head a way to diffuse the situation. The man searched his face before his shoulders relaxed, huffing a breath. Running a hand full of rings through those dark, messy wavy locks that Arthur’s fingers itched to touch, the Alpha simply shook his head.

“Whatever,” the man said. “You can go inside. Gwaine’s inside so he should be able to help out for whatever next album you want to buy for someone.”

Just as the man was about to walk away, Arthur took a step towards him and grabbed his wrist. The taller man tensed before snapping his head to look at him. The blond-haired man’s heart raced against his chest as his inner Alpha melted to the background at the confused look the man gave him. Fuck. He immediately let the dark-haired man go. He had panicked when the man left and…he just didn’t want him to leave yet. 

Especially with such a bad impression because of his stupid mouth. 

“What?” the man said, wariness in his tone. “Do you…want something?”

“I,” Arthur said, swallowing past the lump in his throat. Come on, Arthur. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you just now.”

The man’s eyes widened, a bewildered look crossed his face. And then there was a smile. A smile that turned into a grin as those icy-blue eyes sparkled in mirth. God, that wasn’t a good look for Arthur’s heart. Cheeks heating up, he turned his attention back to the store. 

“No worries,” the man said. “If that’s all—”

“How did you know I came here to look for an album for someone?” Arthur snapped his head back at the man.

It wasn’t really what he wanted to say. There were questions ranging from ‘Where’re you going?’ to ‘Won’t you come inside with me?’ but this was what first popped into his head. And…maybe it was him being stupid but watching the man walk away from him was something he didn’t want yet. 

He wanted to keep talking to the man. 

A man he just met out of nowhere. He didn’t even know his name. And yet here he was, acting like he wanted to be courted. Or court him. 

The man continued to stare at him, silence washing over him before the ends of his lips quirked upwards, flashing Arthur a smile so charming it burned in his head. 

“The last two times you came around was with someone who wanted to buy an album and you buying it for someone,” the man said, shrugging. “You don’t look like someone who would willingly come to a dingy shop like this if you can help it.”

“Oh,” Arthur said, scratching the side of his neck as his heart fluttered against his chest. “Didn’t know you paid much attention to me.”

Immediately as he said those words, his eyes widened. Fuck. 

The man only chuckled, shocking him with his reaction. There was a clear sign of amusement on the Alpha’s face that had Arthur cataloguing it. A flash of warmth in his chest followed by a lightness in his heart had him wanting to hold the smile close forever. 

“You’re one of the rare ones that keep returning,” the man said. “Even if it’s just twice. And third time now.” 

Just as the man was about to continue, the familiar Beta barged out of the shop. “Oi, Merlin, don’t forget to buy tape too.” The brown-haired man then stopped when his eyes landed on Arthur. “Oh, it’s the blondie. Yo, don’t hold a customer back, Merlin.”

Merlin rolled his eyes before he grinned. “Stop yelling and go back inside, Gwaine.” He then looked at Arthur, keeping his grin. “I’ll catch you if you’re still here by the time I’m back.”

_Merlin_. That was his name. Arthur supposed he could thank Gwaine for it. As the Alpha jogged away from him, taking his heart with him, the Alpha could only sigh. He turned his attention back at the entrance of the store only to stop at a weird look on the Beta’s face. 

Frowning, he said, “What?”

Gwaine’s look vanished, replacing it with a gentle smile that Arthur suspected was his customer smile. “Nothing. Are you coming inside?”

“Ah,” Arthur said, refusing to look at the direction Merlin had disappeared to. 

Maybe he could wait for the Alpha to come back. 

Steeling himself, he nodded, following Gwaine inside.

He ignored the tiny voice at the back of his head that sounded like Father mocking him for acting like an Omega. For not living up to his expectations of how an Alpha was supposed to be. For wanting another Alpha when he could have someone else suited for his designation like he was supposed to as a Pendragon. 

Swallowing past the lump in his throat, he forcibly pushed those thoughts aside. 

They wouldn't do good for him now. Father was dead. 

He just needed to remind himself of that.

***

Arthur browsed through the shelves of album. The latest releases had nice looking album covers. Though, he could not recognise even a single band to save himself. A little helpless and not wanting to look like he had been waiting for Merlin, lips curling at the Alpha’s name flashing in his mind, he allowed the soft music from the speakers to be his companion. 

What he didn’t expect was for the Beta to follow his every movement from next to him. Tossing confused glances at Gwaine, he kept his eyes back on the shelves. 

After a few ticking seconds, now aware that the man was never going to speak first, he said, “I’m fine on my own, thanks.”

“Sure,” Gwaine said. “Merlin will be here soon.”

Startled at the mention of the Alpha’s name, he snapped his head to look at the Beta. He could feel his face heating up again at the grin tossed at him. Furrowing his eyebrows, he narrowed his gaze. He was sure that Gwaine had been the one to mistaken Gwen as his mate. Surely he wouldn’t be insinuating what he was thinking he was insinuating, right?

“What? Why would I care if your friend comes back?” Arthur asked, trying to keep his voice neutral. But as always, it came out harsher than he intended. 

Instead of offending Gwaine, the man simply grinned wider. “You’re a prick. But I have a feeling you’re not doing that on purpose. So, that lady wasn’t your mate, huh?”

“You’re asking far too private questions,” Arthur said, sniffing. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Strangely, he didn't feel like his privacy was breached into. At the end, he shrugged. “No, she’s just my close mate. Friend, I mean.”

“Gotcha,” Gwaine said, nudging him. “Sorry, shouldn’t have assumed at first.”

A little taken aback at the apology, he simply shook his head. “No worries.”

They remained quiet with Gwaine still beside him. He could ask him why he was still here but he didn’t know how to not make it come across as mean. As if the universe had wanted to save him from his pondering, the very Alpha that had seemed to steal his breath away walked into the shop. 

“Gwaine, I’m back,” Merlin said as he walked to the back of the store. 

“Yo, coming,” Gwaine said before he patted Arthur’s arm, walking away. “Blondie’s still here by the way!”

Arthur gaped slightly at being outed, his face burning. Slight panic washed into him. Would Merlin appreciate his blatant insistent to wait for him to come back? Would he be annoyed? 

After all, while it wasn’t totally uncommon for Alphas to date other Alphas, it wasn’t everyone’s preference. He didn’t want to cross over any boundaries in case Merlin wasn’t into Alphas. He cleared his throat, self-doubt bubbling within him. Just as he thought to leave, the very man came into view, walking into the aisle. 

“Oh, you’re still here,” Merlin said, his icy-blue eyes seemed tad warmer than before. 

Or maybe Arthur was projecting. That was possible too. 

Instead of answering, he nodded. 

The taller Alpha hummed before he glanced at the shelf of albums. “So, what is it you’re looking for this time? Gwaine could’ve helped you out too, you know.”

“Ah,” Arthur said, cheeks remaining hot as he looked away. Briefly, his heart squeezed in his chest. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable by waiting for you to come back and…”

He covered his mouth, blinking at the words that had left his mouth. Fuck. He didn’t mean to say those words! 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Merlin said, his voice coming out softer than before. When Arthur chanced a glance at him, there was a dust of pink on that pale skin. “Well, can’t say I’m not faltered that a customer prefers me over Gwaine.”

It was a joke. 

It was clear in his tone. And yet, Arthur’s heart flipped in his chest anyway.

“Yes, well,” Arthur said, quietly. 

The amusement vanished in the air as quickly as it appeared. His shoulders tensed when he turned to look at Merlin to see a look so blank that it had him breathing shallower. Those eyes sparkled in something that he couldn’t pin down. The small smile on his lips was gone, replacing it was a thin line. And when Merlin finally looked away to run a hand through his hair, his black shirt lifting just a tad to stretch over his chest, Arthur almost choked on his breath.

“Ah, I have to go,” Arthur said, fumbling on his words as he pushed past the Alpha and dashed out of the music store. 

His breath came out in harsh pants as he ran. It was only when he was no longer anywhere near the vicinity of the store that he could breathe a little easier. His knees buckled causing him to press a hand on the walls of a random store. 

He had embarrassed himself and he was sure that Merlin had noticed his subtle attraction. 

He had to. Not when Arthur had blushed like mad and had run off like he was on fire.

Fuck his life.

***

Arthur huffed a breath as he sipped his coffee, walking with Gwen beside him. Thank god they could leave on time today. These past few days had been hell with overnight projects. Scrubbing the back of his neck, a headache threatened to bloom at the sides of his head. 

“Freedom,” Gwen muttered. “For a while.”

Arthur grimaced. “At least you managed to get a week off.”

“Only because I used my heat as an excuse,” Gwen said, darkly. “Not that it’s a lie. But god, at least that dumb project is done. What a fucking nuisance of a customer.”

Arthur could only nod. “How’s Lancelot?”

Gwen’s cheeks dusted in pink, darkening her chocolate skin further. “He’s fine. He’ll be coming around tonight. Two weeks of not seeing him…” She sighed. “I miss him.”

Arthur smiled softly at that. A part of him was jealous at the love shared by his two closest friends since high school. It would be nice to have someone he could share his life with. To know with certainty that they were it. 

“I’m sure he misses you too,” Arthur said. “It’s Lancelot. Forever devoted to his Queen Guinevere.”

“Shut up,” his friend said, chuckling. She brought her left hand to her face where her wedding ring glistened under the yellowing sun. “Gosh, and I’m forever devoted to my lovely husband too.”

“Sap,” Arthur said. 

“And you will be too when you find the right one,” she said, causing him to huff a breath. He should be ashamed when Merlin’s face flashed in his mind at that. “What? What’s with that look?”

“What look?” Arthur rubbed a hand down his face, a little alarmed. 

Gwen didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “Nothing. Just wondering why you looked a little sad just now.”

Arthur paused in his steps. Sad? 

“I’m not sad,” he said before he contemplated on that. 

He hadn’t seen Merlin since that day. He counted the days. It had been exactly two weeks since then. While he would have fooled himself thinking that the Alpha hadn’t even crossed his mind, the truth was—he did. Especially on nights when the project made him want to tear all his hair out. The craving for his scent to calm him down often intensified then. 

“Sure,” Gwen said, her voice softening. “What is it, Arthur?”

He hesitated, unsure how to proceed with his thoughts. At the end, he went with, “I miss someone and it’s stupid.”

He only met Merlin three times and yet he had caved a hole in his chest and settled in it. A part of him wondered why that was. He never had this kind of reaction to someone before. Someone but that Alpha.

“Remember the first time we went to that ugly music store?” Arthur said. 

Gwen hummed, nodding. She rolled her eyes. “It’s not ugly. Just rustic. What about it?”

Nervousness bubbled in his stomach. “The cashier. That day. I…I think I like him?”

Yes. Because that was it, wasn’t it? The attraction wasn’t and hadn’t been just that. And he didn’t know why. The nervousness mixed with the panic. Had he reached a point in his life where he became impatient with not falling in love and wanted to dive headfirst into it in the first person he found himself attracted to?

He didn’t know. 

He couldn’t even understand it himself. 

Gwen stared at him, her eyes widening. “The cashier…you mean the one with the tattoos and piercings?”

“Yeah.” He hated how his voice came out as slight higher pitch than usual. “Yeah, him. Merlin. That’s his name.”

Gwen chuckled softly. “I see.” Her face was open for him to speak about this newfound crush and his heart squeezed in his chest at that. She touched his arm. “Merlin, huh? How did it happen? You only met him once, didn’t you?”

“I met him twice more,” Arthur said, tad sheepishly. “The second time was because I wanted to buy that album for Marc’s moving-away party.” She gave him a look that had him blushing. “I know I could’ve ordered it online but…I just wanted to see him. And the third time was two weeks ago. I wandered there and…I think it came across as me being interested in him because he had this look on his face.”

He shrugged, unable to continue. Because that was it. That was all there was about Merlin he knew and he felt like an idiot. But Gwen simply hummed. 

“So you like him? Barely knowing him?” she said, her voice was tad cautious and Arthur could detect the protectiveness in her tone. 

“I think so,” he said, sincerely. “I’m not sure why I’m feeling this way either.”

She bit her bottom lip. When she touched her mating mark located just on her right side of her neck, Arthur’s heart lurched in his chest. There was a knowing look on her face, one that had sent his mind racing with that very possibility. 

“You know how Lancelot and I fell in love, right?” she said, softly. “It was those rare True Pair business. No hesitation. I just knew he was the right one. And unlike those who worry that their emotions are just products of biology, I knew deep inside that even after getting to know him, he would be it. And years later, he still is.” She took a step towards him, closing the distance between them. “Maybe…Merlin is yours.”

Arthur sucked in a sharp breath, heart racing against his chest. “No,” he croaked out. “That doesn’t work on same-secondary gender pairs. You know that.”

“That we know of,” Gwen said, shaking her head. “You said you missed him, Arthur. You’re not the type to fall so easily, especially for a man you don’t even know anything about. What if…”

Arthur contemplated on that just for a second before he shook his head. “No, I think maybe it’s just I’m growing older and I wanted to skip the whole ‘do I like him’ stage. Saves time. That’s all there is to it. True Pairs are rare and you’re lucky to have met yours. But it isn’t a reality for Alpha-loving man like me.” 

He cursed at how wilted his voice sounded at the end. When Gwen only pulled him into a hug, he refused to think how his heart squeezed in his chest that Merlin couldn’t ever be his True Pair. 

He was being ridiculous. 

***

The fourth time he met the Alpha, it was not at the music shop. Surprisingly. It was the weekend he had been looking forward to since the project ended. After the talk with Gwen yesterday, he decided that he would prove her wrong. He didn’t need Merlin and he didn’t pine for him. They barely knew each other. 

He would be fine. 

And he was going to prove that to himself by avoiding that shop and carry on with his life. He glanced at his phone. First stop, he needed to get groceries for himself. Two weeks of just takeouts and living in his office had turned his house barren. He heard about the new grocery store opened up just close by his apartment and well, if it all worked out, he would be saving some time. 

It was in a quieter part of the city, thankfully where more niche shops were. Like a pastel bakery, a quaint coffee shop and a tattoo shop at the opposite of the road. He turned his head to the shop only to pause when the very man he didn’t want to see was walking out of it, dangling a cigarette stick, unlit, at his mouth while typing on his phone. 

His heart lurched in his chest when Merlin stopped, snapping his head up as if he had noticed Arthur’s presence. A pale hand reached to pull the cig away from his mouth, their eyes meeting. And holding. 

Fuck. 

Arthur needed to leave. 

Just as he was about to do that, Merlin said, “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

Arthur’s heart once again skipped a beat at that. “I didn’t need to buy any new albums.”

“Ah.” Merlin nodded, bringing down his hand that held his cig. Arthur’s eyes followed it. He chuckled catching the blond-haired man’s attention. “Yeah, uh, going for a smoke break.”

“Smoke break?” Arthur furrowed his eyebrows before he casted a glance at the tattoo shop behind him. 

Merlin turned to look as well before the charming grin he hadn’t seen in a while crossed his face. “Yeah, my shop.”

“You’re a tattoo artist?” Arthur blurted out, his face heating up when Merlin chuckled. 

Fuck, he sounded good even when he laughed. Those icy-blue eyes once more sparkled in mirth and his stomach flip-flopped. And here he had been with determination to forget his useless crush on Merlin. 

It seemed to be futile now. 

“Yeah,” Merlin said before he stood straighter. There was a certain something with the way he stood that had Arthur’s skin crawling with heat. “Want to join me on my break?”

“Excuse me?” Arthur blinked, taken aback. “I don’t smoke.”

“Ah, easy fix,” Merlin said as he crushed the cig in his hand. And that shouldn’t be hot to look at. “Come on. I hope you haven’t eaten yet because I know a cosy shop that has great food.”

Arthur was tongue-tied. He didn’t move for a bit, but his heartbeat skyrocketed when Merlin lessened the distance between them. He grinned, and it looked so good on him. A desire licked within him to close the distance between their faces and kiss his smile off. But he couldn’t. 

Alarmed at that thought, he took a small step back. 

“I’m actually on my grocery run,” Arthur said after clearing his throat, refusing to look affected. 

Merlin only raised his eyebrows. “You can always go do that after lunch. With me.”

The way he seemed so cocksure and confident had Arthur wanting to kiss him again. Fuck. Rubbing a hand down his face, he could only shift a weight from one foot to the other. 

Didn’t he just resolve to not see Merlin anymore?

And yet here he was, torn between being close to the Alpha and leaving. At the end, embarrassingly, the side that wanted to stay close to Merlin won and he nodded. 

And it seemed to be worth it when the Alpha grinned. 

“Come on,” he said as he walked ahead. “Let’s go.”

Arthur couldn’t help the warmth that flooded inside him when Merlin turned to look as if he wanted to be sure Arthur was following him. And he was.

***

The shop was a small cafe located right in front of a vintage bookstore. It smelt nice and a hint of sweetness in the air. Merlin did look like he had been here many times before as he guided them to the end of the room, taking a booth.He allowed Arthur to take the cushioned seat while he took a one of the wooden chairs in front of him. When the menu arrived and they quickly ordered, silence settled over them. Arthur fidgeted as he glanced at his phone in his hands, trying to make himself look busy. His neck prickled with heat when the heated gaze from those icy-blue eyes remained on his being since they sat. 

At last, he snapped embarrassed by the continuing, long stare, “What?”

Merlin had his chin on one of his palms, a smile crossed his lips. “What?” he echoed.

“Why’re you staring at me?” Arthur asked, frowning. 

Merlin hummed. “Nothing.” 

It was clearly a lie. But Arthur wasn’t so sure if he should pry. Instead, he went back to his phone, a message from Percival popping up to ask if he would like to come over to hang out tonight. Typing back an affirmative, he shifted on his seat again as silence washed over him. 

“So,” Arthur said, receiving a hum from the other Alpha. “A tattoo artist?”

“Oh, yeah,” Merlin said, finally leaning back into his seat. “Yeah, I’m a tattoo artist.”

“Then the music shop?” Arthur blinked at the grin crawling on the brunet’s face. 

“I work there sometimes. Gwaine’s my friend,” he said, drumming his left fingers on the table. “He owns the shop and is a bit too of a cheapskate to hire anyone else but me.”

Arthur raised his eyebrows. “I suppose without any customers, keeping minimum staff is a wise thing to do.”

Merlin huffed a breath. “Rude.”

Alarmed, he opened his mouth to apologise only to stop when Merlin grinned wider. Cheeks heating up, he ended up shrugging instead, pushing the apology to the back of his head now that he was sure that the Alpha had been tugging at his legs. 

“We might not get many customers,” Merlin said, “but we still get regulars enough to sustain the rent. So, not too bad.”

Arthur hummed. “I suppose so.”

“What about you?” Merlin asked. “What do you work as?”

“Ah, well,” Arthur said. “Just a manager for the sales department in Papercrafts Co.”

“Papercrafts Co.? I think I’ve heard of that name before.”

“It’s one of the leading companies for advertisements and stuff,” Arthur said, ending it lamely when food and drinks arrived. 

“Must pay well then,” Merlin said as he took a sip of his drink. 

“It’s decent.” He took the fork that came with his plate of seafood spaghetti. His heart warmed. Here he was, eating lunch with Merlin and…getting to know him. “Do you like tattoos?”

Merlin snorted. “Of course. Or else I wouldn’t be a tattoo artist, now would I?”

Arthur pinked. “Right,” he said, sheepishly. 

“Have you ever thought about getting a tattoo?” Merlin asked. 

“No.” The idea of a tattoo so permanent on his skin terrified him. He appreciated how it looked on people, how good they looked on Merlin, but he wasn’t the type who could rock such a thing. It was a form of art that he wasn’t worthy to wear. That and his indecisiveness on most things not related to work would make him regret his choices quite easily. “Have you always wanted to get a tattoo?”

“I did,” Merlin said, smiling. “Gotten my first tattoo when I was nineteen. A small butterfly at my hip to symbolise my mother who…”

His voice trailed off. When Arthur glanced up from his food, the smile that had been on Merlin’s face died to replace an expression of—sadness. It tugged his heart, already piecing the clue about his mother together. The silence was a dead giveaway to what had happened to her. And he hurt for the Alpha before him. His hand itched to touch Merlin’s own, to hold his fingers in assurance. 

But that would be crossing the line. 

Instead, he patiently waited for him to continue, giving him his attention. 

“Before she died,” he said, voice softer than before. “And then well, rest is history. Always been an artsy person too so why not.”

With that, Merlin shoved food into his mouth, his tone going back to the lightness he harboured. Arthur nodded. 

“My condolences,” Arthur said, softly. “About your mother, I mean.”

“Ah, thanks,” Merlin said, his icy-blue eyes dimmed just a tad. “Enough about me though. You gonna show up at the music store anytime soon?”

Arthur could extend his own family history to Merlin but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to. They weren’t close enough yet for this. Instead, he forced himself to focus at the question aimed at him. 

In a small burst of courage, he said, “You sound like you want me back.” Clumsily, he added, “There. At the store, I mean.”

Merlin chuckled, his voice ringing in his ears like an angel’s choir. Fuck, he was gone for that man and he didn’t know if he should be ashamed at how quick he was being reeled in or not. 

“Sure,” Merlin said, shrugging. “If that’s how it’s coming across, you can take it that way.”

And then, the Alpha winked at him. 

Arthur bit his inner cheek from swaying close to that face and stealing a kiss. 

This was too much for his heart to take. Instead, he scrunched his nose and went back to eating, earning another chuckle from Merlin. And he heard the man mumble something but his ears were burning too hot for him to catch them.

Instead, he forced himself to eat. Merlin was just saying that so he could get more people into the shop. That was all. He shouldn’t take anything he said too seriously. 

They chatted idly as they ate, the topic moving away from seriousness to lighter themes. And Arthur couldn’t help but to feel like this had been a date. 

Even if he knew he would be getting hurt for putting labels on things that weren’t as such.

***

It had been two days since Merlin had dragged him to eat lunch with him and made him promise to return to the shop. He even had a mini-freakout session when he got back home that day, his plan undeniably now dead because Merlin seemed like he wanted him there despite the horrible voice in his head to keep his expectations low. 

And just like an idiot, he found himself back at the shop. 

This time, he was with Percival who had found out about his trip to the music store from Gwen by accident yesterday. He had insisted to come along, claiming to be an avid music fan and Arthur…he would be lying if he said he wasn’t relieved. 

It was easier to breathe with his Beta friend next to him. At least, he wouldn’t be embarrassing himself. 

When he entered the shop, the cashier was empty of people. There was no sign of Gwaine or Merlin. 

He kept his gaze at the closed door of the store room. Were they inside? They had to be, right? He snapped out of his thoughts when Percival slapped his back. He kept his hand there and guided him to an aisle. 

“So,” Percival said, his voice gentle as it had always been as he looked at the albums. “Where is the Alpha you’re interested in?”

Arthur held back a groan. He didn’t _just_ find out about the music store last night. He bit his bottom lip before he shrugged, shuffling closer to Percival on instinct when he heard a familiar laugh. Glancing at the direction of the cashier, his suspicions were confirmed when he saw Merlin. 

“There,” Arthur said, nudging him. 

Percival hummed before he nudged Arthur back. “Interesting looking guy.”

Throwing a look at the Beta and earning a smile that had him sighing, he shrugged and pointed at the shelves. “Just pick an album already. Don’t tell me you came here just to spy on him.”

“Well,” Percival said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. “I suppose that’s it.”

“Percival.”

“I’m kidding,” his best friend said. “Lancelot told me to find this band and listen to them and insisted I should get the hard copy.”

“Well,” Arthur said. “Get to it then.”

Percival chuckled, doing just that. While he remained close to the Beta, he kept half an eye at the cashier. Merlin was talking to Gwaine before those icy-blue eyes finally landed on him. The Alpha stopped talking before a dazzling smile that stole his breath crossed his face. Percival spoke next to him but he didn’t pay attention to him. As the Alpha moved away from Gwaine to come to him, their eyes never breaking, Arthur’s heart skipped a beat before picking up its pace. 

“Arthur,” Percival said, grabbing his shoulder and shaking him a bit. 

Arthur finally snapped his head to his friend, knowing his face was red. The Beta’s eyes searched his face before he looked over his shoulder. A smile crossed his face and Arthur knew then that Merlin was close by. 

“So your name’s Arthur,” Merlin said. He quickly turned to look at him. “Funny how I still didn’t know your name after our lunch the other day.”

“Yes,” Arthur said, giving the taller Alpha a smile. One that had Merlin’s smile softening into something indescribable and one he was getting fooled thinking was—affectionate. “Uh…well…”

“Do you have Jone’s 1989 album from 2010?” Percival said, cutting through his thoughts. 

Merlin’s icy-blue eyes looked at him before he nodded. “Yeah, mate. I think it’s at the Old Releases section.”

“Thanks,” Percival said as he patted Arthur’s shoulder and left him there. 

A little panicked that he was now alone with the Alpha, he cleared his throat and glanced away. 

“Well, you came back,” Merlin said, his voice soft.

Arthur looked at him before he said, “He wanted to get the album because of Lancelot. So, I accompanied him. That’s all.”

Merlin hummed, hooking his thumbs at the edges of his tight jean pockets. Arthur’s ears burned again when he chanced a glance at how form-fitting those dark jeans were. 

“It’s still good to see you,” Merlin said. 

Arthur refused to let those words sink into his head like honey. Even if they already had before he could stop them. 

“Y…You too,” Arthur whispered past a lump that formed in his throat. “Not working at your tattoo shop then?”

Merlin chuckled, once again sending his heart racing. “No, but it’s also an off day for the shop.”

Arthur raised his eyebrows. “And you chose to work on your day off?”

“What if you came around when I wasn’t here?” Merlin took a small step towards him, startling the blond-haired man at the deep voice. “That would be a waste, wouldn’t it?”

“Waste?” Arthur’s throat dried at the darkening gaze of the man whom had somehow stolen a piece of his heart just by existing. “I would think you’d be relieved not having to deal with a posh guy like me. Your choice of words.” 

Merlin hummed. “Posh,” he said before he grinned. “Sure. But don’t think that’s a bad thing.” He shrugged. “I think you look good being posh.”

“How can someone look good being posh?” Arthur questioned, his heart continued to beat loudly. “Haven’t heard that before.”

“And what do you usually hear?” Merlin said, his tone curious. 

“I can’t remember,” Arthur said, finding himself spilling out earnestly as his cheeks pinked. “It’s been a while since anyone ever came onto me.” And then his brain short-circuited when he realised what he had said. Panicked, he said, “N-Not that I-“

“You look really good now,” Merlin said, leaning forward until their faces were close. 

Arthur’s words died in his mouth. He could see flecks of gold in those eyes and he couldn’t help but to think that they fit him so well. Popping against his pale skin. Smell of smoke and ink began to wrap around him and he wanted to lean into him. He wanted to bury his face against the shoulder, to find his scent gland and rub himself— 

“Arthur!” Percival’s voice cut through their moment. “I found it.”

“Oh, good!” Arthur said as he immediately walked over to Percival, leaving Merlin behind. He couldn’t be near him now. Not when he was so close to acting those thoughts out. “Let’s check out then.”

Percival looked up from the album, scanning his face before a frown crossed his lips. Arthur held back a flinch when his friend touched his cheek, caressing his thumb across his heated skin. He sighed a little in relief at his best friend’s questioning gaze. To check in if he was alright. For a Beta, Percival had been more protective of his friends than Lancelot, an Alpha, could ever be. And while their dynamics never defined them, it was still amusing and endearing. 

Wrapping a hand around his wrist, he smiled. “Come on, let’s go.”

Percival raised his eyebrows before he nodded, cautiously. “Okay. You sure?”

Leaning into his touch just briefly before he pulled away, he said, “Yeah.”

With that, Percival dropped his hand and walked to the cashier where Gwaine and Merlin were. Arthur remained close, keeping his eyes locked at the spot next to the brunet’s head. 

“Here ya,” Percival said as he slid the album on the counter. Before Arthur could comprehend it, he tossed an arm across his shoulders and dragged him close. “At least Lancelot will be proud.”

Arthur snorted under his breath. He chanced a look at Merlin who had bagged them the album. Those icy-blue eyes met his before they flitted to the arm across his shoulder. Arthur tensed briefly. And as if he had did something wrong, Merlin tensed as well. A brief frown crossed those pink lips before a fake smile, one that had been so different, far more plastic than usual, crossed his lips. Cheerily thanking Percival for his purchase, Percival and him finally left the store. 

“He’s interesting,” Percival said as he pulled his arm away at last. 

“What?” Arthur said, mind still reeling at what had happened. 

“The Alpha crush of yours, I mean,” Percival said. “He glared at me.”

Arthur frowned. “He did not.”

“He did,” Percival said, his eyes sparkled in mirth. “I think Gwen might be right. About you two. He seems to be as taken into you as you are.”

The close proximity between them at the store had elicited a spark within him. It had settled at the bottom of his stomach like a low flame. The eyes that had flecks of gold covered with icy-blue hue, darkened by a certain emotion—he wished he never looked away. The smell of smoke and ink had him wanting to have it wrapped around him forever. Because…the scent had him feeling safe. 

And if that wasn't a punch to his gut of a realisation, he didn’t know what was. 

“He can’t be,” Arthur said, flatly as his heart raced too fast, too much. “Those things don’t happen to Alpha-Alpha pairings.” Those things didn’t happen to _him_. 

When Percival didn’t say anything, but looking displeased either way at his rejection, he could only shrink a little bit more into himself. 

Merlin couldn't be his True Pair. 

That would be too good to be true.

***

The low heat that had been simmering underneath his skin ended up being a full blown rut by next morning. He woke up gasping at four in the morning, body thrumming with the need for something. It crept up on him out of nowhere and his mind was hazy. Grabbing the sheets, he took in a deep breath in to calm himself down, already knowing he was going to tip straight into overheating if he didn’t get out of bed and grab water now. 

Fuck, he wasn’t prepared. 

His ruts were the worst and while he was lucky he only got them to two times a year due to the suppressants, the timing of them was the absolute worst. His hands shook and legs trembled as he got out of bed, trying to walk to the kitchen. A whimper escaped his lips as a shot of heat almost scalded him. By the time he grabbed a cool glass, he could only sigh in relief. A balm against his aching flesh. 

Drinking the water from the tap, he downed three more glasses before filling the glass one last time to bring it back to his bedside table. Taking off his white shirt and his pyjama pants that was already staining from pre-cum, he shakily got on top of his blankets. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, he wanted this to be over with. 

It wasn’t pure pleasure. It didn’t feel good. 

Even as he touched himself, he could only groan in pain from the oversensitivity. He was confused. He wasn’t in for a rut for a whole two months. Mind racing, he forced his hand to let go of his aching body and moved to grab his phone. Sending a quick emergency email to the HR branch to notify of his absence, he gasped as another agonising wave took over his senses. 

His home that smelt of himself did nothing to soothe his oversensitive body. 

He wanted something warm. Gentle hands that would run through his hair and whisper sweet nothings into his ear. He wanted someone to hold him down and tell him that he would be fine. Someone who wouldn’t be afraid to touch him and take the pain away. As his eyes blurred with unshed tears, all he wanted was the scent of smoke and ink to mingle with his and soothe him. 

He wanted the deep voice to tell him that he was beautiful. That he was strong to got through this pain. He wanted that deep voice to love him. 

He wanted to be loved by those icy-blue eyes. He wanted to be loved by _him_. 

As his shaking hands ran down his own body, he closed his eyes and tipped his head back to imagine the very man he wished was next to him. As fingers neared his groin, fingers skirting close to where he needed the most, he imagined Merlin. 

He imagined those long fingers wrapping around his aching body in his strong arms, to stroke him until he was shaking and couldn’t breathe, and then to bring him to the edge of pleasure until he was trembling to fall. 

And he wanted to be kissed until he was breathless. 

But…an Alpha shouldn’t want this. Shouldn’t want to be held down and to take. He should be the one to holding someone else down, he should be the one loving someone until they were breathless. 

His father’s mocking voice echoed in his mind then. 

_“You’re an Alpha! Behave like one! Don’t be disappointing. Don’t be a disgrace. It’s already terrible you’re nothing like a real Alpha acts. I will not have you fucking the family name even further with this nonsense.”_

He opened his eyes and stopped moving his hand, tears running down his face. The familiar disappointment settled deep inside of him like a crushing boulder. He could still hear Father’s voice hissing at him when Arthur argued against the arranged marriage to an Omega he didn’t love. He wanted to find love. He wanted to be cared for. 

But he was an Alpha and that wasn’t on the cards for a Pendragon. 

He dropped his hands limply to his sides as another painful wave had him curling. 

And here he was pining after another Alpha as good as Merlin as if he had any chance. 

***

The rut broke three days later and he was drained. His instincts and mind had been at war all the time. By the time Gwen, Lancelot and Percival came to check on him like they always did after his rut, he could only settle deep into their hugs and assuring smiles that he wasn’t alone. 

But unlike all the other time, it wasn’t enough this time. 

As he rubbed the back of his neck, finally done with his work for today, he found himself walking to the nearby park. There was a strong urge for him to go find Merlin but…after the rut, he no longer harboured the courage to do that. 

Merlin wouldn’t see something in a broken Alpha like him. 

Not for the first time in his life, the inadequacy of himself became chains around his legs. As he sat at an empty bench to look at nothing but the pond and ducks swimming on it, he contemplated on being free like that. 

He didn't know how long he had been there. 

A strong scent of smoke and ink that he missed wafted in the air. His body tensed and almost as if on reflex, he looked around to find the source. Standing near the bench was Merlin. His icy-blue eyes were wide and he looked like he got caught with his hand in a jar full of cookies. 

A bubble of amusement miraculously pushed away all of his dark thoughts. “Merlin?”

The man broke into a beautiful smile that not only had his heart racing against his chest but also sent a wash of warmth to cover him. 

“Arthur.” Merlin moved to sit next to him, turning his body to face him. “Hey.”

Arthur stared at his face, taking in the perfectly messy hair, the burning blue eyes and the dark attire that once again complimented well against his pale skin, he could only count himself lucky that a man like him wanted to speak to him. 

“Hey,” Arthur croaked, looking away with his heart squeezing in his chest. 

Silence washed into the scene before Merlin said, “Haven’t seen you in a while. You going to swing by the shop soon?”

Arthur could only quirk his lips in a tired smile. “Careful, I might think you missed me.”

There was a brief silence. And then the Alpha said, “And if I did?”

Arthur snapped his gaze to look at him. There was a certain glint in those eyes that had him wishing he couldbelieve it. At the end, with the self-doubt still haunting him, he could only give Merlin a smile, humouring him. “Sure.”

That seemed to cause a furrowed in between those eyebrows. Merlin licked his lips before he sighed and looked back at the pond. “What are you doing here?”

“Just came here for nothing,” Arthur said, eyes fixed at a duck swimming in circles. “To calm my mind.”

“Ah,” Merlin said. He nudged Arthur. “Hope whatever’s bothering you will go away soon then.”

Arthur sniffed. “Me too.”

There must’ve been something in his voice before Merlin touched his hand. The warmth that suddenly sunk deep underneath his skin had him startled. Immediately looking at the pale hand on his right one that was clutching his jacket, he could only stare at the way they fit well together like this. Wondering how it would feel if he could interlace their fingers together.

“Hey,” Merlin said, catching his attention. “Want to talk about it?”

Absolutely not. The last thing he wanted to tell Merlin was about these thoughts of his. He wouldn’t know what to do if he received a weird look or worse…a mocking laughter. Like the one his father had granted to him before he shattered his self-confidence into nothing. 

“I’m fine,” Arthur said as he gently pulled his hand away from the touch. “Thank you for the offer.”

Merlin thinned his lips before he took his touch away. “Okay, cool. Just…you can talk to me. I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”

“You’re a stranger, Merlin,” Arthur said, smiling so he came across kinder. 

Merlin shrugged. “Sometimes it’s easier to speak to a stranger than someone you know.”

“Does it now?”

“I guess,” the brunet said as he turned his attention to the pond. “It’s just nice to relieve yourself from those burdens onto someone else even just for a second. Especially on a stranger who would forget it immediately after.”

Arthur hummed. “And you would forget what I said?”

Merlin tensed before his cheeks pinked. He glanced at him. “Well, maybe not. Don’t think I can forget anything about you.”

While those words settled like a jolt of electricity in his body, he also couldn’t help but to chuckle. “So, you’re not a stranger then.”

Merlin perked up at that and his face brightened as if Arthur had casted a praise at him. He grinned. “I’m not a stranger, huh?”

Arthur relaxed a little under his gaze. “I’m not sure.”

Merlin nodded. “Then, let’s not be strangers.”

And it seemed to be as easy as that. Was the transition between strangers and not had been this seamless? His throat dried. Not being strangers with Merlin would mean something else, wouldn’t it?

Did he want it?

“You overthink a lot,” Merlin said, catching his eyes with a soft smile. “Don’t you?”

“What do you mean?” He furrowed his eyebrows. 

“You get a crease right here,” Merlin said as he placed a finger in between his eyebrows. The touch once again had startled him. He breathed out slowly as the warmth even from one point felt like it was made to be against him like this. “And then you frown a little. It’s kind of easy to deduce you’re thinking when you do that and grow silent.”

“We only met a few times,” Arthur said. “Aren’t you a bit too observant?”

“Do you dislike it?” Merlin said as he once again took his touch away. But this time, Arthur wanted it to stay. There was a flash of uncertainty on that face that made Arthur want to wipe it away. “I was told I’m too observant and too…much sometimes.”

“No,” Arthur said, blurting out. He almost thought he saw a layer of insecurity in Merlin that tightened his chest in the worst kind of way. “No, I’m fine with it. I was joking.”

“Oh,” the brunet said and relaxed. “Okay, good. It would be a tragedy if I drove you away by accident.”

“Why would it be a tragedy?” 

Merlin smiled; that same soft smile that Arthur was beginning to like. “Well—”

Just then his phone rang, causing him to sigh in mild irritation. Pulling it out of his pant pockets, he answered the call from Percival. “Percival?”

“Want to come over? Thinking about having dinner with you guys,” Percival said. 

Arthur smiled. “Sure, have you called Lance and Gwen?”

“They’re coming,” Percival said. “See you at the usual time then.”

When the phone call ended, he took a glance of the time. If he left now, he would be able to make it to the Beta’s place. He glanced at Merlin and paused at the furrowed eyebrows and clenched jaw, a glare thrown at the pond. Raising his eyebrows, he cleared his throat. Merlin snapped his head to look at him. The look that was aimed at him had his heart skipping a beat and heat to bubble underneath his skin. 

It was a dark look that dried his throat. 

“Uh,” Arthur said, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder. “I’m heading home.”

Merlin searched his face and when Arthur stood up, the brunet grabbed his wrist. The electrifying touch had his eyes widening. Sitting back down, he stared at the Alpha before him. The grip on his wrist tightened a fraction more and a small part of him wondered how that would feel against his body. 

“Merlin?”

Merlin blinked and sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. “Sorry. I need to know. Feel free to tell me to fuck off but Percival, you and him are…?”

“Excuse me?” Arthur questioned, frowning. “I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

Merlin let him go like he had been thrusted into fire. “Sorry,” the brunet said, rubbing hands through his hair. “I just…I needed to know, that’s all.”

“Needed?” Arthur said. “What do you mean…”

Merlin paused, frowning. He opened his mouth and closed it, as if he was thinking real hard a way to phrase the words. At last, he said the very few things that Arthur didn’t think he would say. 

“Arthur,” he said, softly. “You do feel this…between us, don’t you?”

“Sorry?” 

“The…” Merlin reached to grab his wrist again before those fingers glided to wrap around his hand. The touch sent a shiver running down his spine. A shiver that he liked. “The spark. The, uh, what is it you lot call it—True Pair spark?”

Arthur stared at him with wide eyes before the words finally registered in his head. In a hurry, he snatched his hand away and stood up. His heart raced against his chest and panic washed over him. No. That couldn’t be right. 

True Pairs weren’t made for two people like him and Merlin. They were meant for opposing secondary genders. He didn’t get that lucky. 

“No,” Arthur said, croaking out. “You’re an Alpha.”

Merlin stood up slowly. “Yes, I am.”

“I’m an Alpha,” Arthur said, pointing at himself as the panic crescendoed. “You’re an Alpha. There’s no such thing as True Pairs for two Alphas.”

“Well,” Merlin said, looking confused. “No one ever said they were meant for a certain pairing either. It’s just what people concluded after a while. But research has shown that—”

“Research?” Arthur blurted out, his voice pitchy. “There’s nothing between us. You’re an Alpha. I’m an Alpha. We don’t have that kind of stuff happening. I—”

Merlin grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to stand grounded. “Arthur, you’re panicking. Your scent is haywire and I need you to calm down.”

“Don’t read me,” Arthur said, pulling away from his grasp. “You can’t read me. You’re an Alpha. You’re supposed to find my scent overpowering. You’re supposed to take a step back and run. No Alpha is supposed to be with me. And no Alpha is supposed to be my True Pair.”

Merlin remained quiet as he dropped his hands to his sides. There was a blank look in his eyes that sent a slither of fear echoing in his chest. Then, the brunet took a small step towards him, calculatingly. Arthur could only stand there, frozen.

“Arthur,” Merlin said, whispering. “I’m your True Pair. And I think you know it too.”

Arthur’s eyes watered and a heavy, washing fear told him to run. He wanted to run. He couldn’t be here. But just as he tried to take a step back, Merlin's eyes flashed in red and a growl escaped his lips, startling him to stand still. The blond shook his head, eyes darting everywhere to escape only to stop when Merlin grabbed his hand again, this time, interlacing their fingers. As if that was all he needed, his panic started to ebb away. 

“What—” Arthur was cut off when Merlin placed another hand against his face. His warmth once more settled deep underneath his skin. The scent of smoke and ink wrapped around him, only far stronger than he had ever had the chance to smell it. “Merlin…what are you doing?”

“You’re going to end up having an attack if you keep working yourself up like this,” Merlin whispered, his voice placating. “Do you want me to let you go? I’m just afraid you’re going to have breakdown in the middle of wherever you’re going and I won’t be there to make sure you’re safe.”

Arthur’s bottom lip wobbled. 

“Arthur,” Merlin said, “do you want me to let you go?”

Arthur held back a sob when the Alpha sighed gently and pulled him in close, giving him every chance for him to pull away if he wanted. While he had been waning to run, now…now he couldn’t think of a safer place to be than in those arms. Would it hurt for once to be selfish?

He didn’t know.

But when Merlin only gave him an assuring smile, Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin and hugged him. The strong arms wrapped around his body as well, a hand running their fingers through his hair. As Arthur tried to gulp in his scent, Merlin could only sway them a bit while humming to calm him down.

***

Merlin handed him a cuppa tea. He took it without saying anything, sipping on it. Merlin had managed to drag him to his tattoo shop, bringing him to his office at the second floor where they could have more privacy even if the shop was currently closed. While he had held onto the Alpha like he was his lifeline, now he preferred the space between them as Merlin took a seat at an armchair. The black leather couch, worn around its edges, was comfortable, at least. 

“You okay?” Merlin asked as he placed his forearms on his knees, hunching forward. 

Arthur sipped the tea a few more times before placing it at the glass table, not really replying to Merlin. True Pair. Him and this handsome Alpha were True Pairs. But that was so far fetched. How could something like that happen to him of all people? It made no sense. 

“Arthur.” 

The blond-haired man lifted his gaze to look at him. At the end, he could only shake his head, earning a sigh from the brunet. 

“I didn’t realise you would take this so hard,” Merlin said, his voice was dyed in a soft sadness that had Arthur’s instincts aching to soothe them. 

In reaction to the instinct, a flash of anger crossed his mind before it melted into gut-wrenching feeling of disappointment. He had made the man before him sad and it wasn’t like he _could_ do anything about it. He couldn’t even stop those voices in his head. 

“We’re both Alphas,” Arthur said, getting the words out even when it hurt his being. 

“And?”

That made him glare at Merlin. “And? And that isn’t…isn’t right!”

Merlin remained silent for a few seconds before he frowned. “You know, I didn’t think you’d be a prejudiced—”

“No!” Arthur said, shaking his head frantically at the wrong idea he got. He sat straighter, heart racing against his chest. “No. I meant, it isn’t right for me. I…I don’t have a problem with Alpha-Alpha couples, of course not. It’s just…I don’t…” He was getting worked up at not being able to get the words out, desperation crawling at his chest to get Merlin to understand that _he_ was the problem, not Merlin. At the end, frustrated tears gathered in his eyes as he brokenly said, “These kinds of things doesn’t happen to me. _I don’t deserve it_.”

Merlin opened and closed his mouth before he leaned into the cushion of his armchair. He stared at Arthur, preferring to remain quiet. The blond-haired man fidgeted under his stare, his heart aching in his chest at the thought of having finally came out and said it but was met with nothing but quiet. Had he crossed a line?

As a tear spilled past his right eye, one he quickly wiped, he decided it was best he left. But just as that intention crossed his mind, Merlin had stood up and sat next to him. He still gave space between them, but even this proximity was enough to calm Arthur down. Just a tad.

“What do you mean you don’t deserve it?” Merlin said, hushed. 

Arthur tensed. “Exactly as I meant it.”

Another few seconds of silence ticked by before the brunet said, “Can…can I go over here? Sit next to you closer, I mean. So I can hold you.”

Arthur snapped his head to look at him, taken aback at the pain on the brunet’s face. His instincts screamed at him then at the scent of smoke and ink now having an undertone of slight sourness. Immediately afterwards, the urge to comfort him became stronger. He scooted closer, grabbing Merlin’s hand without thinking twice as he searched his face. 

“I’m sorry,” Arthur whispered, meeker than anyone would’ve expected from an Alpha. 

Merlin shook his head. “I want to hold you. Is that okay?”

“I—”

“ _Please_?” Merlin’s plea had been so quiet that he could do nothing but nod. 

With that green light, Arthur held back the reflex to pull away when strong arms grabbed his shoulders and pulled him closer. He gasped, placing both hands on Merlin’s arms when he almost got pulled onto his lap. Resisting just for a second, one that the brunet paused before he frowned and _hauled_ him close, Arthur shivered when the warmth of the Alpha’s body finally wrapped around him like a blanket. The sourness in the smoke and ink smell vanished, replacing it was a hint of fire—ones from a fireplace during a cold night—almost smouldering him. Relaxing, he kept his hands and face away from that tempting shoulder. Even if he wanted nothing more but to bury his face into the crook between his neck. 

A hand touched his chin, tilting his face until their eyes met. The Alpha below him smiled before wiping away the tears from his eyes. Then, he dragged both hands and wrapped them around his waist, securing Arthur on his lap. 

“Explain to me?” Merlin said, leaning against the cushions. “What do you mean you don’t deserve it?”

Arthur made a frustrated noise under his breath, one that earned him a coo and more warmth and the scent he loved to circulate around him. “Merlin…”

“I just…want to know,” the brunet confessed. “I’m not sure why you would think that. I’m worried.”

“I,” Arthur said, shaking his head. “You barely know me.”

“True but it doesn’t make this any less real,” Merlin said. “It doesn't have to be complicated. We can start now, to get to know each other, I mean.”

Arthur searched his face, shakily tightening his grip on his arms before he slumped. “It doesn’t make any sense…”

“What doesn’t?”

“Us,” Arthur said. “I’m an Alpha. A…A Pendragon. Arthur Pendragon.”

He waited for the spark of recognition when others knew of his last name. His father had been an influential man before he died but all he got was Merlin’s hum, patience written all over his face and none of the spark of ‘ah-hah!’ that he was used to seeing on everyone else’s face. 

And that…made him feel better. 

“And,” Arthur said, continuing at last when Merlin didn’t seem like he would be contributing the conversation anytime soon. “Father…An Alpha shouldn’t be…. _should_ be stronger, manlier. An Alpha is supposed to lead. He was supposed to make people proud and…”

Merlin nodded, brushing a hand over his face to tuck a strand of blond hair to the back of his ear. “But what, love?”

That nickname had taken him so off guard that he blinked, stunned. Merlin chuckled. “I’m not those. I don’t want to lead. I don’t want to make people proud. I’m attracted to other Alphas but my instincts don’t tell me to be…to be rough with them or dominate them. I sometimes wonder if I was supposed to be an Omega instead but at the same time, it just feels right to be in this skin and fall for another Alpha and let others do the leading.”

His breath came out in a slow gush of air, the panic subsiding into something heavier. He didn’t continue, but he hoped it had been enough to get the point across. A hand on his waist tightened before the one at his face tilted his head until their eyes met once more. 

“That’s bullshite,” Merlin said, smiling. “Being an Alpha, Omega, Beta—those are just secondary instincts. It’s not supposed to dictate us on who we’re supposed to be and who we like.” He sighed. “Arthur, if you don’t want to be any of those, it’s fine. We can work with that.” 

“But it’s weird, isn’t it?” Arthur dropped a hand on his lap. “Look at me. I’m even on your lap like some—”

“Like my future mate is supposed to be?” Merlin said, cutting him off gently. 

Arthur took in a sharp breath. “Future mate?”

The brunet shrugged. “Future mate. Of course you’ll be my future mate, Arthur.” He shifted, pulling Arthur even closer against him. “And if you want _me_ to sit on your lap, that can be arranged too.”

If it had been anyone else, the blond would have thought that he was joking. But when those icy-blue eyes only remained on his face, calm, not a hint of humour in them—the tightness in his chest lightened. Because someone was listening to him. And he didn’t have to be terrified for now. 

“Look,” Merlin said as he caressed Arthur’s left cheek, smiling, setting his nerves at ease like he could always do. “I’m here now. No matter what happens later, I’ll be here to help you solve them. And if that includes your worries, lay them on me and let’s discuss them.”

“Too easy,” Arthur said. “That sounds too easy.”

“Well, it doesn’t have to be complicated.” Merlin smiled wider when Arthur searched his face. “We can take this as slow as we want. As you want. I don’t really mind waiting for you. I just need you to understand that you can rely on me to not judge you of whatever it is you want. You think.”

Those words settled deep inside his mind, making a spot amongst the mean voices and horrible laughter. Tightening his grip on Merlin’s arms, he took in a shuddering deep breath. 

“You’re asking for a huge baggage,” Arthur whispered. “I carry a lot of burdens. A lot of…”

“And I’m willing to listen,” Merlin said. “Every single word.”

“That’s a lot of promises you’re making,” the blond-haired man said. 

The brunet hummed. “I know I’m putting a lot on you right now so I won’t say anything else. But please, take a chance on me. I’ll prove to you that we can be good together, yeah?”

“And will you let me know you too?” Arthur blurted out. “You’re claiming to want to know me…”

“If you want, I’ll lay down my entire history,” Merlin said, joking, earning a smile from the blond-haired Alpha. “But…we can take time with that too.”

“I still can’t believe that…” Arthur choked on his words. 

“If it helps,” Merlin said, voice softer than before. “Let’s start with getting to know each other as two people rather than two Alphas. When you feel ready, we can discuss about that too.”

“And you? What about you?”

Merlin shrugged again. “I’ve been told that I’m a stubborn, laid-back man. I don’t really have a preference. And,” he said as he sat up straighter. “I like making sure the person I’m with feels safe and happy with me. So if that means going at their pace, that’s what I’ll do.”

Arthur quietened down. A part of him that had been scared for so long faded under his watchful gaze. 

“How about we do this,” Merlin said. “Let’s go out on a date. And then, we’ll go from there.”

Arthur nodded, allowing himself to slid away from his lap to sit next to him. Merlin sighed before he sat straighter again, the smile still on his face. He dropped his hands on his lap, not touching Arthur anymore and that—that really had him yearning for his touch again. 

“Fine,” Arthur said. “That sounds…fine.”

“Good.” Merlin clapped his hands together once. “How about dinner?”

He was tad relieved that he didn’t have to think much with Merlin deciding for them. At least, he needed that relief until he could think properly of what had happened. The anguish and disappointment he had been harbouring about himself since his rut slowly trickled into warmth. 

“Dinner sounds good,” Arthur said. A little nervousness bubbled within him at the thought of going out though. As if Merlin understood, the brunet suggested he would cook for him. “You can cook?”

Merlin grinned, his eyes sparkling in pride. “I’m a great cook!”

And the anxiousness completely vanished, welcoming a sense of familiarity that he didn’t think he would get to experience. Arthur simply snorted under his breath, earning a chuckle from the Alpha next to him. 

“I suppose I’ll believe it when I see it,” Arthur said. “After all, you could be buying food and plating it and calling it as cooking.”

Merlin mock gasped. “What a prat,” the brunet said. 

Arthur stared at the man before he chuckled. “What a girl!”

They grew silent after that, the atmosphere between them growing calming. Arthur’s shoulders didn’t feel like he was carrying the weight of the world on him, not so much anymore. At least for now. With that gaze of his True Pair, he let himself believe for a second that he deserved it.

***

The date had been decided for the very next night. Seeing how it was the weekend, Arthur found no reason to deny. He had stayed up the whole night, counting down the seconds until the new day dawned. The day that would make way for the night where their date would take place. Their _date_. 

He sat on his bed, staring at his phone. They even had exchanged phone numbers followed by a few short messages after Arthur went back home, having to cancel with Percival after all. He knew that his excuse that last minute work would only curb his friends for long but he would like a moment to himself until he could tell them what had happened. 

A True Pair with Merlin. 

Merlin Emrys had been his full name. And because Arthur had been curious, he had googled that man and found a list of accomplishments by him for being an artist, his work of art ending up as tattoos by his own hands and on canvas when he wanted to. Emrys was his destined person and he was an impressive one. 

An intelligent one who had come from a poor family and had worked his way up to become a well known artist in Britain and beyond. It was strange to see him not being surrounded by people but Arthur also could guess the places he met him weren’t his natural habitat to say. Maybe if Arthur went into his world, he would realise how big he was. 

And then there were doubts.

Because compared to Merlin, he was the disgraced last heir of the Pendragon line. Morgana, his half-sister, had escaped the family the second she could, becoming estranged to him. While he had missed her, she clearly did not and he couldn’t help but to wonder what she would tell him if she was here. 

Probably sneer at his face like she usually did back when they were teenagers. 

A sigh escaped his lips. 

Merlin promised he would listen to him. He looked adamant on making things work between them. And truly, Arthur…wanted it to work. He couldn't deny the rightness he felt when he was with him. Fuck, he had thought about him during his rut and he usually succumbed to faceless men and women. Rubbing a hand down his face, dropping his phone in front of him, he could only ponder how this thing between them would work. 

A laid-back man who would follow along his pace and was willing to work with what he was given. How many others could say that their partner did the same?

The question remained if Merlin would prove to him that he was that kind of person. 

Because while he was told those nice things, they didn’t remove his insecurities and how he felt about himself. Nice things didn’t just happen to him without a reason. 

But he wanted Merlin without consequences. 

He closed his eyes. 

He really wanted Merlin to prove him wrong.

***

Arthur shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he stood in front of Merlin’s apartment door. Here he was. He was right on time, he had checked before coming up. And he was terrified. But, while he was scared, he wasn’t a complete coward. So, he steeled himself and knocked on the door. Merlin yanked it open a second later, his hair a mess but his eyes shining bright. He grabbed Arthur by the hand and pulled him inside. 

“You’re here!” he said, grinning before he took him in. 

Tinting slightly in pink at the soft smile curling on those pink lips when their eyes met again, he said, “Yes. It smells good in here.” 

“Told you I can cook,” Merlin said as he walked inside, disappearing into the kitchen. “Come here, Arthur!”

Arthur snorted under his breath as he took a step into the place. The smell of smoke and ink was strong in here but—it didn’t feel jarring. It didn’t make him tense. Instead, he wanted to crawl into a soft place and just let the scent lull him into sleep. A calming scent. He didn’t realise how much he liked this combination until now. 

At the kitchen, Merlin was plating them food. Arthur didn’t really pay attention to what he had cooked, content to take the side profile of the Alpha. Wearing a pair of dark blue jeans once again morphing around his legs and a band tee, he looked the same as he always had been. Only…when Arthur took a small step towards him, there was something—off. 

He sniffed, detecting a hint of spiciness in his scent. It wasn’t from the food though, he was sure. 

His heart skipped a beat when the Alpha turned his attention to him and he blurted out, “Are you wearing a cologne?”

Merlin froze before his cheeks tinted in pink. He cleared his throat. “Ah, yeah. Do you like it?”

Arthur opened his mouth before he closed it. He didn’t really like it. He preferred Merlin’s scent on his own but he didn’t know if he was allowed to say that without offending him. So, he simply shrugged. “It’s alright.”

Merlin snickered before he handed Arthur a plate. “Come on, let’s go to the living room.”

Arthur frowned. “What? Where’s your dining table?”

“We don’t do that in this household,” the Alpha joked. 

The blond-haired man simply stared at him, unamused. While he knew this wasn’t his home, the thought of eating in the living room and making a mess there made him cringe. Merlin searched his face before he snorted. 

“Come on, you prat,” Merlin said, gently nudging his shoulder with his right elbow before he walked past him to the couch. “Trust me. It seems like you never ate in the living room before.”

“Why when you have a dining table for that?” Arthur grumbled as he followed the brunet, taking a seat next to him and awkwardly balancing the plate on his thigh. “Eating dinner in the living room as my first date.”

Merlin stopped moving then, turning his attention fully on him. There was a second of silence before he said, “If you’re unhappy, we can move to the dining table. I just thought we could get comfortable here but—”

“Sorry,” Arthur said, cheeks heating up at the understanding look and tone from the man. “I didn’t mean to come across as rude. You’re right, I never eat my food here so I’m a bit awkward, I suppose.”

“Well,” Merlin said as he darted his gaze at the dining table located just not far from where they were sat. It was a sign that if Arthur wanted to move, they could. 

And that mere consideration warmed his heart. 

“It’s alright,” Arthur said. “New experiences.”

Merlin smiled. “Yeap,” he said, nodding. “Let’s take it as me teaching you how to be less—posh.”

“As long as I don’t turn into an uncivilised person by the end of our date,” Arthur said, a hint of playful warning at the end of his sentence that earned a challenging glint in those eyes. “Merlin.”

“We’ll see,” the brunet said, earning a chuckle from Arthur. He then sighed, his face open with happiness. “I’m glad you’re here, Arthur.”

His cheeks tinted further in heat and he couldn’t help but to return the smile. “Me too,” he whispered. 

They quietly ate then, and Arthur didn’t find it awkward. If anything, he relaxed because this was what he wanted when he imagined and hoped for their date. This easiness he felt yesterday with Merlin close by. Even if he wasn’t currently sitting on his lap, one that had him undoubtedly happy to be that close to him, his scent was enough to keep him rooted to the ground and remind him that this was real. 

“So,” Merlin said, catching his attention. “You never did answer me yesterday. About Percival.”

Arthur rolled his eyes, a smirk threatening to pull at the corner of his lips. “He’s a friend,” he said, not wanting to drag this out long. Merlin relaxed. “Idiot, not like I’d be here on a date with you if he was anything more.”

Merlin’s face reddened as a sheepish smile crossed his lips. “I just needed to make sure. Because like…” He stopped himself. 

Arthur raised his eyebrows. “Because what?”

“Nothing,” the Alpha said, going back to eating. 

His heart skipped a beat, little trickles of nervousness had him staring at the brunet. “Merlin, are you really trying to hide something from me so soon?”

When the brunet choked, he grew alarmed, immediately grabbing a glass of water they had set on the coffee table and made him drink it. Only when Merlin didn’t look like he was close to dying did Arthur sigh. 

“No!” Merlin said, catching him off guard. He placed his plate and glass on the coffee table before turning to give him his full attention. “It’s just my…instinct. Well, to be honest, it’s me too.” When Arthur simply stared at him, the brunet rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding his gaze. “I’m jealous. Was jealous. Didn’t want you to be taken, especially now that I found you and you’re my True Pair.”

Arthur’s heart skipped a beat. “I see.”

Nodding, the brunet grabbed his glass of water to drink from it again, his face now completely red. And…it was endearing. 

“Rest assured,” Arthur said, clearing his throat as he went back to eat his dinner, his body warm. “I’m not taken. Haven’t been for the past few years.”

“Yeah, me too,” the brunet said, catching his eyes with a gentle smile. “Mostly, no one really caught my eye. Until you walked into the shop with your pretty blue eyes and blond hair.”

Arthur paused in his munching, flustered at the praise. It had been a long time since anyone ever made such comments about him. Those who did flirt with him had been Betas who was more into his last name than himself. He found himself smiling wide, a bubble of happiness bursting in his chest followed by the need to preen at the thought that the Alpha found him pretty. 

“Pretty blue eyes, huh?” Arthur said, earning a melodic laugh from the man before him. “I was mesmerised by you too. You looked like you belonged in a Vogue magazine.”

Merlin snorted under his breath, leaning against the cushions of his sofa. “And you looked like you belonged on a throne.”

“Funny you should say that seeing how the Pendragons do have some relation to the royal family,” Arthur said, taking in the slight shock crossing the Alpha’s face. “Did you not look me up?”

“No?” Merlin said before he smiled again. “Honestly, I don’t really care who you are. From what I gathered…you want to forget who you were too.”

“Right on the money,” he said, sighing. “I would like to be just Arthur.”

“Alright,” Merlin said, once again taking it in easily. “We can do that.” Arthur relaxed, smiling. “Did you look me up?”

Arthur hummed. “I got curious about you so I did. A little Google search revealed quite interesting articles about you.”

Merlin rubbed the back of his neck again. “And what did you think about them?”

Arthur searched his face. Was he nervous? That mere idea had Merlin becoming more endearing than before. He placed his own plate of food on the coffee table, turning his body to properly face the Alpha. 

“I think,” Arthur said, carefully. “Your art is…beautiful to look at and that your origin story is inspiring.”

Merlin stared at him before his face softened into one that had Arthur looking away in fluster. “My origin story, huh?”

Arthur shrugged. “It’s what the internet said.”

Merlin remained quiet for a bit before he said, “They’re not wrong. But it’s far less depressing than that.”

Arthur turned his gaze at him. The Alpha didn’t make a move to continue on that line of thought but—Arthur wanted to know. He wanted to understand more about Merlin, however far he was allowed to. Nervously, he shifted a bit closer to the Alpha and placed a hand on his right thigh. Merlin looked at the hand before meeting his eyes. When the brunet reciprocated and placed his own hand on top of Arthur’s, his heart lightened. 

“Can you tell me?” Arthur said. “Only if you want to.”

Merlin smiled. “I did tell you I’ll lay my entire history before you if you wanted.” After a second, he said, “I came from a small village called Ealdor. My mum was a Beta and my dad was an Alpha. Dad died when I was young so I can’t really remember much about him. So, mum became everything to me. She was the one who encouraged me to pursue anything I wanted and I always liked drawing so.” He shrugged. “Here I am. Mum died when I was in my second year in uni and…it just drove me even more to achieve my dreams so she can see that she had raised a son like me. And be proud.”

His voice trailed off, his eyes glazing as if he was in a piece of memory that Arthur couldn’t see. When the blond-haired man touched Merlin’s lap again, giving him a comforting squeeze, the brunet gave him a warm smile, touching his hand. 

“I’m no magician,” Merlin said. “I had to work hard to get to where I am. And I’m content here. With how things are going. That’s my origin story, if you will. Unfortunately, there’s nothing too fancy about my life. Just hard struggles with multiple part time jobs to get by when I was in uni and now I’m making enough to live comfortably.”

Arthur took that all in, nodding. All in all, Merlin was an average man. And…he liked that. He liked the content in his voice and the love he had when he talked about his mother. It was hard for him to relate, having grown up without proper love from his father but he knew—he just knew that that was how a true family should be. 

“Thank you for telling me,” Arthur said. 

“No need to thank me,” Merlin said. “It’s a part of me that I wanted to share anyway.”

Arthur smiled. A little bubble of nervousness once again shown itself to him. He wanted to reciprocate. He just wasn’t sure how to. Merlin squeezed his fingers, searching his face. He opened his mouth and Arthur quickly shook his head, silencing him. Because he had an inkling that the brunet was about to give him an out. It had only been such short time since he knew him and he could already tell that this man would bend his back and let him get away with so many things as long as he was happy. 

And while he appreciated it, that wasn’t how he wanted this thing—if it ever blooms—to be. 

“I’m the only heir to the Pendragon line,” Arthur said, deciding to start there. “I am the only son, I should say. I had a half-sister named Morgana. She was adopted into the family after her father died in a tragic car accident when she had been ten. She was my only family, really that I cared about. I…Father was a great businessman and he knew how to give us things if we asked but he wasn’t a great father. Mother died in childbirth so I grew up with eyes on me at all times and expectation that I _have_ to be an Alpha and _have_ to make the family proud.” 

Merlin remained quiet, nodding as a sign he was listening. 

“Well,” Arthur said. “I didn’t want that. When Father tried to arrange me into marrying this woman he picked out, I told him I didn’t want to. And…he just said some things that are hard for me to shake off even after his death.”

Merlin frowned. “Was it to do with how an Alpha is supposed to act? The things you told me yesterday.”

“Yeah,” Arthur said, giving him a fleeting smile. 

“And your sister?”

“Ah, well, she never liked me,” he said, his heart breaking at the words she had spat at him before she left. “She hated the family and she thought I was the same as my father. No matter how hard I tried to change her mind, she wouldn’t listen. And when we turned eighteen, she left. Didn’t even look back once.”

“I’m sorry, Arthur,” Merlin said as he cupped a hand on his cheek, startling him with his soft gesture. “I wish you didn’t have to go through that.”

Arthur touched his hand and squeezed his fingers. “Me too. I…I’m sorry for freaking out yesterday. But it’s a lot to know that you’re my True Pair. It’s—”

“Is your Alpha fighting you?” Merlin said, cutting him off with a worried look on his face. “You said you grew up with these notions on how an Alpha is supposed to be. Does my scent repulse you and—”

“No!” Arthur blurted out, cheeks heating up again. “No…I…I really like your scent. In fact, it feels like…home, in fear of coming across too strong.” 

“Oh,” Merlin whispered. 

“My Alpha…is quiet,” Arthur said, fumbling his way through explaining. “There’s no instinct to maim or hurt you or anything like that. It feels like acceptance and…I think even if you try to push me, I still won’t get the urge to growl.”

Merlin’s smile was radiant. “My Alpha feels that way too. Society only dictates what they are accustomed to, Arthur. But everyone experiences things differently. And for us, it’s this.” He caressed his skin. “If you’ll let me, I’ll hep you see that you’re fine just the way you are.”

Arthur looked away, refusing to let tears gather in his eyes at the tender words. “I suppose so.”

Merlin chuckled, finally pulling away though Arthur nearly snatched his hand back to lay it on his skin. Curling his fingers into fists, he took in a deep breath—smoke and ink filled his lungs and calmed him down. 

“Guess I should stop wearing the cologne then,” Merlin said, catching Arthur’s gaze with a playful smirk. 

Arthur could only snort, smiling. “I like your scent just the way it is. I don’t…prefer it being obstructed with anything else.”

“Noted,” Merlin said as he bent forward to grab Arthur’s plate, handing it to him. “Let’s continue to eat.”

Arthur smiled as he took the plate. “Yes, alright.”

***

Percival punched his arm playfully as they walked past a few stores to get to the cafe where they were meeting Lancelot and Gwen. “So, that’s what you were doing when you cancelled last minute, huh?”

Arthur scratched the back of his neck. “It’s surreal.”

His friend simply hummed. “I’m sure it is. But…I’m happy for you.”

His heart warmed at that as he smiled at his friend. When they reached the cafe, he was tackled into a hug by Gwen before giving Lancelot a grin. The topic of Merlin wasn’t breached yet. It was only when their drinks were bought and everyone got comfortable that his name was brought in the conversation. 

“What happened with Merlin?” Gwen asked, blinking. “You only said you would tell us later when you cancelled our dinner date.”

Arthur sipped his coffee, leaning into his chair. He contemplated a way to bring it up but ultimately, the only way to get this out was to tell it to them straight. “He’s my True Pair.”

“I knew it,” Gwen said, smiling. 

Lancelot spluttered in his drink, coughing a bit as his wife elegantly gave him a napkin to which he took with a brief thanks. Wiping his mouth, he blinked at Arthur. “You what?”

Arthur snorted under his breath. “Always out of loop.”

“Well, excuse me for being busy,” Lancelot said, grinning. “Gwen only said you liked a guy named Merlin. Not that he’s your True Pair!”

“I didn’t know it either until he told me,” Arthur said. “I denied it. Or tried to. But…it makes sense. Why I like his scent and why it feels like everything is right when I see him. And why I get so antsy when I don’t.”

Percival nodded. “Sounds like it.”

“So, are you both dating now?” Lancelot asked. 

Arthur paused for a second, his heart skipping a beat at that thought. And then the wash of fear of having to date Merlin. What if he couldn’t shake off the ideas implanted in him? What if he ended up hurting the brunet? 

What if he couldn’t hold onto his feeble happiness?

“No,” Arthur said. “I don’t know. We’re just getting to know each other.”

Something must’ve shown on his face because Gwen touched his hand, giving him another smile when he met her eyes. 

“Well, maybe it’ll turn into something beautiful soon then,” she said, squeezing his fingers. 

Arthur relaxed under her stare. “I…hope so. I told him about Father. And about how I view myself.”

Lancelot took in a sharp breath, eyes widening. While he had often kept this side of him as a secret, his closest friends were the rare exceptions to that rule. Especially Gwen with her fierce, protective personality that had him reminded that he wouldn’t be berated for being himself. For wanting to be himself. 

“And…what did he say?” Lancelot said, voice wary but no doubt held a hint of protectiveness that had him smiling. 

“He told me it was fine,” he said, voice croaking. “To be myself. To want things that aren’t Alpha-like. Told me that he would make me see that I could be myself with him. Said he wanted me to be happy.”

Percival patted his shoulder. “He sounds like a good lad.”

“And how do you feel?” Gwen asked, voice soft. 

“I…find myself believing him,” Arthur said, taking in a deep breath. “I find myself wanting to give it a chance. But what if I can’t let go of Father’s voice in my head? What if I hurt him?”

“Then you learn from your mistakes and you grow,” Lancelot said. “And we’ll be here beside you anyway, regardless.”

The tightness in his chest loosened. “Yes.”

“Bring Merlin to us,” Gwen said. “I would like to formally meet him.”

Arthur chuckled, shoulders relaxing as he placed another hand on top of her delicate ones. “Once I figured this out myself, Gwen. Once we’re…something.”

She smiled, her eyes glinting. “Good. You deserve to be happy, Arthur. And if he’s the right one, we’d love to meet him.”

“Yeah,” Lancelot said, nodding. “As long he’s not Mark, we’re fine.”

“Don’t bring that cursed name here,” Percival said shuddering. “For a short man, he really knew how to scare the hell out of people. Talk about obsessive.”

Arthur shook his head, chuckling. Mark was an old flame that didn’t end well, only loved him for his name and status. He was one of the few that Arthur tried to take a chance only to have that bridge burn as well. But this time…he could feel that it will be different. Maybe it was because Merlin was his True Pair, but he…wanted this to work. 

He really did, even if it scared him.

***

Arthur glanced at his phone. It was currently two in the afternoon on a Saturday and he found himself standing in front of Merlin’s tattoo shop. The brunet had texted him that he would be here if Arthur wanted to swing by before dinner tonight, their second date. After a week of busy work and not being able to see him, his chest had tightened at that prospect. The sooner he saw him, the better right? 

While there had been a nagging thought that he might annoy the Alpha if he did arrive early, he had to forcibly remind himself that it was Merlin who invited him. 

Surely he would want him there, wouldn’t he?

Taking in a deep breath, he walked inside. There wasn’t a crowd. In fact, the one leather seat at near the reception was empty. He hesitated before a woman walked out, her hair in a pony tail. She smiled at Arthur before she took her place behind the counter, gesturing him over. 

“Hey, are you looking to get a tattoo done?” she asked. “Consultation or—”

“Sorry, I’m here to see Merlin?” Arthur said, cutting her off before she started asking anymore questions. “Emrys, I mean.”

Her eyes lit up as she nodded. “Oh, sorry, I’m new here. What’s your name? Are you on the—”

“I’m not his customer,” Arthur blurted out, making her frown. “I’m someone he knows. He told me to meet him here so, I…”

“Ah, Merlin’s currently with someone,” she said, pointing at the leather couch. “You can take a seat while you wait for him to be done?”

Arthur nodded, deciding it would be better if he did just that. Sending a short text to the brunet that he was out here, he took a seat. A few minutes passed before the scent of ink and smoke wafted into the air before the very man appeared. He grinned when his eyes landed on Arthur. 

“You’re here!” he said, patting the lady at the reception before he walked up to him. “Sorry, was with a client.”

Arthur gave him a reassuring smile before he stood up. “I can come by la—”

“Stay,” he said, not even giving him a moment to speak up. Merlin grabbed his hand before he continued with, “Let me bring you to my office, okay?”

Arthur’s heart fluttered as he nodded. He glanced at their hands and how their fingers intertwined perfectly. And he didn’t want to let that go. He allowed the Alpha to pull him a little as they walked past the woman who was now eyeing them with a smile on her face. Passing by some rooms and up the stairs, he was back at the familiar office he had been just a week and few days ago. 

“Do you want tea?” Merlin said as he let his hand go, pointing to the small table against the wall where an electric kettle and other tea-related necessities were. 

“No,” Arthur said. “I’ll just sit here and wait for you.”

Merlin smile before he touched both of Arthur’s face and caressed his cheeks. “Like a good boy, huh?”

Arthur’s cheeks flared in red before he swatted those hands away from his face. He glared at the now clearly amused man before him. He ignored the way his heart skipped a beat at that and how his instinct immediately wanted him to hug Merlin and purr. 

“Go back to your client, you idiot,” Arthur said, holding back a smile when Merlin laughed, touching his right arm and squeezing. He grabbed those fingers, always so ready to hold him back. Smiling at last, he added, “Go.”

“You’re beautiful when you blush,” Merlin said. “I really want to kiss you.”

Taken aback at that, he couldn’t comprehend an answer fast enough before Merlin smiled again and finally took a few steps back, detangling them. With one more fond look tossed at the blond, the Alpha walked away. 

His heart raced against his chest. Merlin wanted to kiss him. He touched his lips, taking a seat on the couch. He couldn’t help but to smile at that. Being able to kiss him wasn’t a…horrible thought. He would be lying if he hadn’t thought about how those lips would feel against his. Chuckling, he relaxed a little in his seat, taking a look at his office. 

The last time he had been here, he was more focused on his anxiety and fears. Now that he was taking a better look, there were posters hanging by the walls followed by old music tapes. There was a small shelf full of books, the top row covered by black leather-bound ones. He had an inkling that those could be Merlin’s sketchbooks. 

And now, he wanted to see his art. He would ask him when he came around then. 

Just as those words crossed his mind, someone entered the room. She froze at the entrance when Arthur looked at her. A hint of sweet plum wafted into the air. An Omega. 

“Sorry, didn’t know Merlin had someone in here,” she said, warily as she continued to stand at the entrance. “Who are you?”

“Ah,” Arthur said. Maybe it was one of Merlin’s friends. “Arthur. Merlin’s…friend.” He decided to settle on that for now. 

She frowned before she nodded, moving to a mahogany table where papers, pens and books were scattered. Picking a black book, she looked back at Arthur. 

“I didn’t realise he had someone new as his friend,” she said, her voice curious. “I would know.”

Something in her tone had him squaring his shoulders. He tilted his head to the side before he shrugged. What was he supposed to say that? 

“We just met couple of weeks ago,” Arthur said, explaining it to her. “Sorry, who are you?”

He couldn’t help but detect the hint of sourness masking the plum smell. He resisted the urge to flinch. She wasn’t happy with him questioning her, that was very much clear. A small thump from the book when she placed it back on the table had him staring at her, keeping his gaze firmly on her face. 

“Freya,” she said. “I’m Merlin’s friend. A long-time friend. One that he trusts with his life. One that would do anything for him.” She narrowed her gaze. “One that he would tell to if he made a new friend, especially another Alpha.”

Bristling at the tone, he sat straighter. “Well, maybe you should clarify it with him then.”

She huffed a breath. “I will. This is his secret, sacred space. No one is allowed up here except for me.”

There was a hint of possessiveness in her tone that had him wanted to bare his teeth. His inner Alpha hated how this woman was speaking to him, as if he had stolen him from her. A fearful doubt crawled in his mind. Who was she exactly to Merlin? 

He didn’t reply to her, deciding to shrug again as an answer. That clearly wasn’t what she expected before she glared at him and walked away, no doubt to find Merlin. He sighed, a frown now on his face. Freya had been territorial and he was aware what that meant. She deemed this place as hers and he wasn’t welcomed. They must be really close then. 

The fear turned into a sharp, bitter feeling. He rubbed a hand down his face, tilting his head back. 

Was he jealous? 

He supposed he was. 

Merlin would tell him if he had someone, right? Or was he waiting for Arthur to ask? 

Biting his bottom lip, he decided to focus his energy on playing with his phone. It was an hour before the brunet walked back into the office, a smile decorating his face. Arthur smiled back, waiting until Merlin took a seat next to him. Tossing an arm across Arthur’s shoulders, he sighed as he leaned his head on them. The blond-haired man relaxed, almost instinctively, until he noticed something off about his scent. It was still smoke and ink-like, but with a hint of sweetness. Like—plums.

Freya. 

He stiffened. 

Merlin must’ve noticed it because he sat straight, turning to look at Arthur with a questioning gaze in his eyes. 

“What?” he asked when Arthur made no move to speak. 

Arthur wasn’t sure if he should point it out. But…it really was bothering him. He shifted away from Merlin, causing the brunet to frown. 

“You smell,” he said, hesitating. “You smell like someone else.”

“What?” Merlin said as he sniffed his shirt. “Do I?”

Arthur nodded. “Like Freya.”

Merlin stopped short at that, snapping his head to look at him. “You met Freya?”

“She was here. Picking a book from your table.” Arthur frowned, crossing his arms against his chest at the acidity in his chest. “She…didn’t look happy to see me.”

“Ah, fuck,” Merlin whispered. “Sorry, Arthur. I haven’t gotten the time to tell her properly I found my True Pair.”

Arthur looked away. “Who…is she?”

Merlin stared at his face before he smiled, grabbing his hand to intertwine their fingers. “She’s my childhood friend. That’s all, I promise. She has a habit of scent marking me whenever she gets protective of me.”

Arthur made a face at that, earning a laugh from the brunet. Squeezing Merlin’s fingers, he sighed. “Omegas don’t scent-mark Alphas just because they’re protective, you know.” He couldn’t hold back from the jealousy escaping his words. “She looked…and acted like a possessive…mate.”

Merlin shifted closer to him until their thighs were touching. “Hey, Arthur, you’re the only one for me, remember?”

Arthur glanced at him. “Yes but…Freya is—”

“A friend,” Merlin said. “I’ll ask her to stop doing that from now on.” When Arthur didn’t reply, he sighed and grabbed his face by tipping his chin to look at him. “What is it? You can tell me.”

The open honesty on Merlin’s face made him want to speak. A primal urge to get rid of her scent by replacing it with his crawled its way into his chest. He grabbed Merlin’s arm before he forced his fingers to let go. 

“I don’t like it,” he whispered, cheeks tinting in heat. “I…know we don’t know each other that well or for that long but I don’t want her scent on you. I…want mine to…” 

Merlin’s eyes sparkled, as if he had been told the greatest news ever. “You want to scent mark me?”

Arthur’s face burned. “Merlin—”

“Yes or no?” Merlin said, shaking his head as he casually removed all paths for Arthur to run away. 

“Yes.” Arthur nodded for extra measure.

“Okay,” Merlin said, smiling. “Now?”

“Wait, you’ll let me?” Arthur asked, surprised. It wasn’t unheard of for Alphas to scent mark another Alpha, especially their mates but Arthur never experienced being allowed to do it so freely. 

Merlin only nodded as he pointed at his own neck. “Yeap, I’d be lying if I said I never thought about drenching you in my scent either. Especially when I see you after you’ve been around people.”

The slight possessive tint in the brunet’s voice had Arthur squirming just a tad. But he couldn’t stop his chest from filling with pride and relief that Merlin wanted that. Because he felt the same. Though, he couldn’t help but to wonder if they were moving a bit too fast. At the hesitation crossing his face, Merlin relaxed. 

“What’s wrong?” the brunet asked. 

“Isn’t it…a bit too fast?” Arthur asked. 

“It might be,” Merlin said, smiling. “But if it feels right, why wait?” He then caressed the blond’s fingers. “But like I said, it’s your step to take. I’m fine with waiting.” He pulled away then. “If you don’t want to scent mark me now, I can go take a shower.” He pointed at the door located at the end of the room. “So, I’ll be right back.”

Arthur watched him stand up, ready to leave when his hand shot out and circled his right wrist. Merlin halted in his steps, turning his gaze to land on him. They stared at each other for a few seconds before the blond-haired man dropped his hand and cleared his throat. It was fast. Scent marking was something people who were really close with each other, mates or family members did. But…Arthur wanted to do it and it felt like the right move. 

“Can I scent you now?” Arthur asked, voice quiet as he kept his gaze firmly on his lap. Realising he was acting like a coward, he lifted his eyes to convey his intent right at the Alpha’s face. “If the offer still stands.”

“Yes,” Merlin said, grinning. He plopped back on the couch before he turned his body to face him. “Of course. How do you want me?” 

Arthur reddened. Lying down would be a bit too intimate and sitting face to face like this introduced a huge gap between them that would no doubt hurt his neck if he even tried to scent him. At the end, he pointed at his lap. If Merlin could straddle him, at least they both could be comfortable. He hoped. He didn’t verbalise the idea but it did get the point across when Merlin’s eyes shimmered once more, this time in interest. 

Without hesitation, the brunet landed on his lap, legs on either side of his thighs and hands gripping his shoulders. The weight and warmth immediately on him had Arthur melting back on the couch, a smile crossing his lips at how right this felt. Placing his hands on Merlin’s hips, he pulled him closer just a bit so that their faces were inches away. 

“Alright,” Merlin said, his own cheeks turning red just a tad. “Wrist or neck?”

Arthur blinked. “Wrist? Wait, did you want the wrist? I just assumed—”

“Relax,” Merlin said, squeezing his shoulders. “I’m just making sure. I didn’t want to assume it’ll be my neck.”

Arthur bit his bottom lip, breath hitching in his throat when Merlin tutted at him and pressed a thumb at his mouth, pulling the bottom lip away from his teeth. His eyes widened just a fraction when the brunet caressed his face, smiling softer. His own gaze landed on Merlin’s lips and suddenly, the idea of scenting was placed at the back of his mind, replaced by the need to claim them. 

And he wanted to kiss Merlin. 

As if the Alpha had read his mind, the brunet leaned closer and whispered against him, “Can I kiss you first?”

Arthur could only nod before a mouth was slotted against his. Immediately, he wrapped a hand at the nape of Merlin’s neck and pulled him closer, kissing him back. The smell of smoke and ink started to blend with akin to roasted coffee beans. It was an intoxicating scent that had him whimpering at the back of his throat as their kiss deepened to tongues in the mix. His body lightened up with every touch of those fingers. A hand caressing through his hair while the other dragging down to touch his neck where his scent gland was—it was all enchanting. 

When Merlin’s thumb circled his scent gland, he pulled away from the kiss to release a breathless gasp, eyes half-closed. The Alpha before him looked different. Gone was the easy smiles and open face and replacing it was a hungry look so intense, it had his stomach squeezing and his instincts screaming at him to just go with the flow. But he knew that would be a step too far. Not now. That was a line he wasn’t willing to cross. Not yet. 

Instead, he took in the slightly mused hair and swollen lips, icy-blue eyes now carried flecks of red, a clear sign that his own Alpha was probably prowling at the surface of his consciousness. 

“I want to scent mark you too,” Merlin said, carrying a timbre that had him shuddering underneath him. When the brunet circled his scent gland again, Arthur only nodded, baring his neck just a tad. That earned him a smile so proud, it ached his heart. “Such a good Alpha for me.”

“Merlin,” Arthur whispered. “Can I scent you now?”

The redness in those eyes seemed to only intensify. As an answer, Merlin tipped his head to the side, completely baring his neck to where his scent gland was. Arthur took that as an invitation and wrapped his arms around Merlin, bringing him close to finally rub his face against his. In return, Merlin did the same. 

The scent of ink and smoke with now the hint of roasted coffee beans filled his senses, calming him down. Slowly but surely, the sweetness in his scent disappeared. It relaxed him and soothed his senses, a sense of relief crawling and settling deep in his mind now that Merlin only smelt of him. And he was sure that Merlin felt the same, especially when he could feel the marginally strengthening grip over his body. 

After a while, they stopped scenting and remained in a tight hug. Arthur’s nose buried in the crook of his neck while Merlin did too, a hand running through his blond hair. 

“Well, that was nice,” Merlin said against him, his hot breath fanning too close to his scent gland had him pulling a little away. The Alpha sat back, grinning. He framed Arthur’s face with his hands, his eyes were gleaming in unconcealed pride that had his heart hammering against his chest. “Now, you smell just like me too. Did you know you smell like pines and mountain breeze?”

“Excuse me?” Arthur said, amused at that description. Strangely, he never really knew how his scent smelled like. He never really asked and Gwen wasn’t the type to let anyone know how they smelt like unless they asked. He closed his eyes for a second, leaning into the touch before he smiled. “Well, you smell like smoke, ink and—now a hint of coffee beans.”

Merlin chuckled. “Goddamn, you’re beautiful.”

“You are too,” Arthur said, holding him tighter around his waist. “Thank you for letting me scent you.”

“Arthur, it’s fine,” Merlin said, firmly. “If you need to scent more often, just tell me. I’m open to it, alright?”

Arthur’s heart fluttered once more and he nodded. “You too.”

Merlin grinned and hugged him again, almost squeezing him a bit too tighter than necessary. Arthur allowed it happen, sinking into the warmth of his embrace. He could only hide his heated face against his shoulder, pleased that they were here like this at the moment. 

***

Scenting became a regular thing then. Unfortunately, Freya being around was a regular thing too. A few weeks had passed with Merlin and him getting closer with each date. He got to know more about his work, his life. How he took his coffee, his dislike for earl grey and the sleepless nights he pulled when he had inspiration to draw or paint. And that also meant getting to see him work more often than not and meeting with Freya. 

She was a woman who definitely didn’t like Arthur. Even when Merlin had introduced him to her as a True Pair. It seemed like that just sealed her hatred on him. Like right now. He sighed as he stared at her, eyebrows raising as he sat on the couch in Merlin’s office. The Alpha’s sketchbook was in his hands while he waited for the brunet to be done with his latest client. What he didn’t expect was for Freya to barge in and glare at him. 

“You’ve been standing there for the past five minutes glaring at me,” Arthur said, voice coming across bland. “What is it do you want?”

“I’m trying to figure out what Merlin sees in you,” she said as she leaned against the bookshelves, arms crossed. 

He would’ve taken offence to that if he hadn’t been just scented to an inch of his life before the brunet left half an hour ago. Instead, he simply hummed before he went back to looking through the art pieces. Freya remained standing there before she moved to take a seat next to him. He froze just for a second before he looked at one particular sketch when Freya pointed at it. 

“Merlin drew that when he was in his second year of uni,” she said, voice softer than he ever heard. “His mother just died then.”

Arthur stared at the picture of a butterfly breaking away from its cocoon. Merlin had said he had a butterfly at his hip to symbolise his mother. He never got a chance to look at it, at least not yet. But…knowing that this was the one, it tugged his heartstrings. It was beautiful. He couldn’t help but to trace its edges before he nodded. He didn't know why Freya suddenly gave him that information but he kept it close to his chest. 

“What about this one?” Arthur said, pointing a skull and snakes circling it. It was a bit too morbid for his taste but it nevertheless looked beautiful. 

“That’s when his ex broke up with him,” she said, her voice turning darker. “Just two days after his mother died, that _fucker_.”

Arthur flinched at the poison in her voice. “What?” he asked, in disbelief that someone would do that. 

“Yeah,” she said, spatting the word out like it was having a hard time leaving her mouth. “Stupid bastard was even Merlin’s first love too. Good riddance, though.”

He frowned. He didn’t know what had transpired between them but it nevertheless made him mad that he was hurt just after his mother’s death. Especially after knowing how much the woman had meant to the Alpha. And…somewhere at the back of his head, there was a hint of sourness at the thought that Merlin had been with someone else before. But he quickly berated himself. 

It was normal to have relationships. He even had a few before meeting the brunet. He had no right to be jealous of a past thing, not when the Alpha had been so—dedicated to him.

“Do you even like Merlin?” Freya asked, meeting his eyes. “Merlin gives his heart away too easily. True Pair or not, you can still hurt him.”

Arthur thinned his lips, closing the sketchbook. He carefully chose his words. “I do,” he said, admitting it for the first time in his life as his cheeks heated. “I do like him.”

She narrowed her gaze. Crossing her arms against her chest, she leaned into the couch. “Have you really thought about it?” Her pitch lowered. “You’re an Alpha.”

Startled at the words, he let them sink in his head. Tightening his grip on his book, he took in a shuddering deep breath. The familiar heaviness at not being able to completely get rid of his anxiety over his secondary gender weighed down on him again.

“I can’t change my secondary gender,” Arthur said, tongue heavy with regret. “But…I’m trying my best to make this work.” 

Freya hummed, glancing at him before she turned to glare at the entrance of the office. She didn’t say anything for a few seconds. And he let the silence be their companion. Until she spoke of something that had his heart almost stop beating. 

“Did you know Merlin wanted children?” she said, voice low. “A family? He said he grew up only with his mum. And he always thought it would be nice to have a big family. To have a warmth of a family.” She finally looked at him. “Can you give him that?”

Before Arthur could say anything, she patted his shoulder and stood up. “My client should be here. I’m not trying to put doubts in your head, by the way. I don’t want Merlin to get hurt. He’s had enough hurt already. True Pair or not, if you can’t promise him his happiness, you should leave.”

Leaving him with a blanked mind, he could only release a breath. Dropping his gaze to the sketchbook, he caressed the leather. A family. A big family. He would be lying if he said that the thought appealed to him. Mainly because of the fear of becoming a father gripped his heart tight. He didn’t grow up with a loving environment and the only one who deemed to be his family had abandoned him without a second glance. How could he be a good father if he never experienced it himself?

A cold fear gripped his heart. 

What if that became the deal breaker? 

He didn’t know how long he had been contemplating that. His mind had been racing from one point to the next, on having a family with Merlin and what not. He knew they couldn’t naturally carry a child. And…his heart ached at that. For the first time in his life, he wished he was an Omega so he could at least do that for Merlin. If he could let himself dream, he could see a little boy and girl with their features. They would be adorable, most likely. And from what he knew about Merlin, he would make a great father. 

Curling his fingers into fists, he didn’t realise the Alpha was back until a brush against the side of his ears. Startling, he lifted his head to meet icy-blue eyes and a charming grin. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said, his voice strained. 

“Hey,” Merlin said. “I’m done with my client. Want to grab something to eat?”

“Uh, sure,” Arthur said as he gave him a smile, pushing away his thoughts to the back of his mind. 

A part of him wanted to immediately ask Merlin about his dream. But as always, the fear held him back from doing just that. Maybe later. Maybe when he had gathered his thoughts. He stood up, placing the sketchbook on the couch. Just as he was about to move, the brunet held his arm, stopping him. 

“You okay?” Merlin asked, his eyes searching his face. “You smell off.”

Arthur huffed a breath. “I’m fine,” he said, lying. A little stab of guilt had him almost flinching. “I just got thinking about work and you know, stressed out.”

Merlin didn’t look like he believed him but after a while, he nodded. He loosened his hold on Arthur’s arm. “Okay,” he said before he pressed a hand on his cheek, caressing his face. “Can I kiss you?”

His heart skipped a beat. “You don’t have to keep asking.”

“Consent, babe,” Merlin said, not allowing him a second to retort about the pet name before he was brought into a kiss. It was a chaste one but just like that, it eased his worries just a bit. It didn’t completely erase the nagging thought, yet it did enough for him to enjoy Merlin’s presence. “There, come on. Let’s go.”

“Sneaky bastard,” Arthur muttered, earning a chuckle from the Alpha.

***

Their lunch had been good. As always, the conversations flowed and when there was silence, it was mostly a comfortable quiet. They walked close, side by side, passing by some people as Merlin chatted about his next art project. Arthur listened closely, often times entranced by the beauty before him. Happiness was a good look on him. And how he wished he knew if he could keep it on his face. A painful pang in his chest had him looking away for a second. 

Just as he was about add into the conversation, a little girl that looked like she was six started crying in the middle of the pavement. They both stopped walking to look at her. People walked past by here, eyeing her. 

“Where’re her parents?” Arthur asked, frowning. 

“I don’t know,” Merlin said. They remained standing there, staring at the crying child. But when it was clear that the parents were nowhere near, the Alpha moved towards her. He crouched down in front of her with a gentle smile before he said, “Hey, why are you crying here all alone, huh?”

The girl looked startled, her crying becoming hiccups before she made herself look smaller. Arthur moved to stand next to him, noting that she smelled of fear. She was definitely lost. 

“Mummy is gone,” the girl said, more tears running down her face. 

She looked wary of him but Merlin only nodded, keeping a smile on his face. “Where did you last see your Mummy?” the brunet said as he glanced around. “Shall we wait for her?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered as her shoulders shook again. When she began crying again, Arthur stood there, unsure of what to do. “I want Mummy!”

“I know, darling,” Merlin said, pressing both hands on her face, pausing when she flinched. He quickly wiped away her tears before he brought her to a side of the pavement, sitting on floor. “Come sit with me. We can wait for her here, okay?”

Arthur blinked at how naturally he managed to calm her down. At the look tossed at the brunet, he made a move to sit next to him. The girl curled next to Merlin, almost like she was trying to find refuge and the Alpha allowed her to do that. 

He took in how kind he looked, the soft smile on his face fit him well. Like a master, he managed to get the girl to talk to him and before they knew it, they were talking so much; jumping from one conversation to the next. Arthur was content to be silent as he watched him and the girl speak. It was only ten more minutes of their stream of words before a woman screaming of a name appeared. 

That must be her mother. 

And it was. After the girl had been reunited with the mother, Merlin waved at them both after being thanked for taking care of her for a while. The woman initially glared at them when she saw them, but that was to be expected when two grown Alpha men was accompany a little girl. Arthur huffed a breath when the brunet finally met his eyes. 

“Sorry,” Merlin said, giving him a sheepish smile. “She just looked so lost.”

“It’s fine,” Arthur said, smiling. “You’re good with kids.”

“Well, I did a lot of babysitting when I was a teenager,” he said. “And I worked at a kindergarten when I was in uni too.” He shrugged before he nudged his arm. “You looked scared of her.”

It was a joke, Arthur knew it. But it still didn’t stop the way it pierced through his heart, doubts from before threatening to wash over him. 

“Do you want a family?” Arthur asked at last, unable to hold back the question. 

Merlin blinked, clearly taken aback. “Wow, what a loaded question.”

His cheeks heated. Alarmed, the blond-haired man quickly said, “Sorry, that must’ve come across as insensitive.”

“Not insensitive,” Merlin said, shaking his head. “Just out of nowhere.” He pointed at the empty spot where the child and mother had stood. “Is it because of what happened just now?”

Deciding that was an easier way to connect the dots, he nodded. He opened his mouth to once again apologise when the brunet hummed, looking contemplative. 

“I wouldn’t mind a family,” he said. “I always liked kids and…I always wanted them.” He glanced back at Arthur with a soft smile. “But that’s not important right now. And since we’re on this topic, what about you?”

His heart squeezed in his chest, his mind only latching onto the fact that Merlin wanted children. He didn’t know, was the answer. He didn’t know if he wanted children. So, he simply shrugged, deciding that would be enough of a reply. That earned another smile before the brunet slapped his shoulder and they began walking again. 

But even when their date ended with Merlin kissing him again as Arthur went back home, the idea of Merlin and a family kept revolving in his head.

***

Gwen stared at him from over the rim of her glass, eyebrows raised. They were currently in his apartment after the Omega had barged into his place when Arthur had a tiny breakdown over the phone, thinking about the family dilemma. 

“Have you spoken to him about it?” she asked, her voice calm and collected but no doubt a hint of blandness in her tone that had him smiling. “Well?”

“No,” he said, admitting it with guilt. 

“So, you decided to worry about it on your own?” she said with a sigh. “Arthur…”

“I know I should speak to him about it,” he said, frowning. “But how does one open that conversation? Freya might have a point. If I can’t make him happy then…”

“No offence to this Freya,” Gwen said. “But she doesn’t get to dictate how you should feel or what you two should do. Fine, you have this information now. Talk to Merlin about it.”

“That’s the problem, Gwen,” Arthur said. “I don’t even know if I want kids. What if I decide that I don’t want them?”

“Then you tell him.” She smiled at him when he huffed a breath. “Arthur, communication is the only way to deal with your anxiety of this matter.”

“I wouldn’t be mulling over it if it was that easy,” he said, leaning into his chair, crossing his arms against his chest. “I can’t help but wonder…this is just the first problem we’re coming across as an Alpha-Alpha couple. And a big one, at that. I…can’t give him what an Omega or a Beta can give. I—”

“Are being self-depreciative again and spouting shite your father fed you,” she said, placing her glass on the dining table. “I sincerely think you should speak to him about it, even if it hurts. Even if it’s hard. Because, Arthur…this is an answer only both of you can have. Not me. Not you by yourself.” She reached a hand to grab his right one. “Don’t sell yourself short. There’s always a way around things. All you need to do is stop trying to sabotage your own happiness.”

A little taken aback at her bluntness, he quietened. He squeezed her fingers. “You’re right,” he whispered, a lump forming in his throat. His heart skipped a beat as nervousness washed over him. 

“I’m always right,” she said, chuckling. “From what you’ve been telling me about him, he sounds like a reasonable man, Arthur. Give it a chance. Don't run before you’ve even tried.”

***

He had meant to talk to Merlin about it. But while he knew he should, every time he wanted to, either work came up or his fear took a grip of his chest and kept his mouth shut. His thoughts only kept running back to the idea of a family and what else he couldn’t give to Merlin, forcing him to shy away from meeting the Alpha. Guilt covered his senses the longer he remained indecisive about his decision even when he rationally knew that the brunet wasn’t expecting an answer. 

A week turned into two and it had officially became the longest time since he had met or talked to Merlin, stuck between his busy work and the need to hide in his home when he did have free time to gather courage to speak about this topic. With just short texts exchanged with each time Arthur apologising for not being able to schedule for another date, the blond at the end sighed into his pillow, staring at Merlin’s number on his phone screen. 

It was a Saturday night and he had just gotten back from work. Not even bothering to change his clothes, he had slumped straight on his bed, contemplating calling Merlin just to hear his voice. 

Would he be mad that he kept cancelling their dates? 

Would he be angry that he had been trying to hide and handle this on his own?

He didn’t get a chance to properly think about it when said man called him. He hesitated. A slither of thought to ignore the call crossed his mind before he shook it away. No, Merlin didn’t deserve that. 

At the end, he answered the call in loud speaker, placing his phone next to his head before submerging back into his pillows.

“Arthur?” Merlin’s voice came through, sounding a tad tired. “You there?”

“Here,” Arthur mumbled, his heart aching when he heard his voice. 

“Hm, haven’t heard from you in a while so,” Merlin said, trailing off. 

“Sorry,” Arthur said. “I got caught up in work and when I do have free time, well…I tend to crash.”

There was a moment of silence before Merlin spoke up. “Oh, that’s…good then.”

“Good?” Arthur frowned. There certainly wasn’t anything good about him crashing after work. 

“No! Not like that, I mean…I thought you were avoiding me,” Merlin said, finally a hint of nervousness in his voice that had Arthur alarmed. “I haven’t…Fuck. Arthur, I missed you.”

His heart squeezed in his chest at that. “I…I missed you too,” he whispered, guilt now resurfacing like a tidal wave. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to avoid you.”

Merlin sighed. “I want to see you.”

Arthur scrambled to sit up then, his heart racing against his chest as he contemplated on the request. He glanced at the time on his phone. It was late. While his fear still ran rampant in his head, he couldn’t stop himself from wanting the same. He missed Merlin too. 

And maybe…like Gwen had said, he should talk to him about it. 

“I want to see you too,” Arthur said. “Do you…do you want to come over?”

Merlin took in a sharp breath. “Yes,” he said, not even bothering to hide his enthusiasm. “Yes, Arthur. If you’re not too tired.”

“I am tired but,” Arthur said. “I want to see you more.” 

And that had been that. The call was short and a message with his address had been sent. Arthur quickly took a shower, his instincts going haywire to make himself smell nice and craved for Merlin’s scent to once again wrap around him like a warm blanket. When Merlin finally arrived, ringing the doorbell, the Alpha immediately opened the door, not even hesitating to drag the brunet inside and hug him tight. 

Strong arms wrapped around him as well before Merlin pushed him against the wall and dragged his face against the side of his face, scenting him. He ran his fingers through the messy hair, pushing him closer to his scent gland while he did the same, their bodies pressed close together and those hands now firmly on his hips. 

“I missed you so much,” Merlin rasped, his lips now wrapped around his scent gland before giving him a suck. 

Arthur pulled away from Merlin’s neck to gasp, a whine building at the base of his throat as he bared his neck for whatever it was that the brunet wanted. A few more minutes passed, heat now pooling at his groin before the brunet finally pulled away, his breathing coming out laboured and his eyes were tinted in red. A shudder ran down his spine when he realised how feral Merlin looked. And how much he wanted these touches to escalate.

“I missed you too,” Arthur whispered, not even surprised when Merlin kissed him, pushing him against the wall again before a hand sneaked under his shirt to caress his skin. Wrapping arms around his shoulder, he pulled him in between his legs and kissed him back, relishing at the strong body against his. “Fuck, Merlin, we’re going to get carried away if we don’t stop.”

Merlin nodded, pressing their foreheads together. He tightened his grip on his waist, no doubt a possessive gesture before he pulled away, detangling themselves. It was then Arthur took a proper look at him. With a dark hoodie and a pair of sweatpants, he was nothing like how he usually dressed. And yet…he looked even better this way. 

And then Arthur said, “You wear glasses?” 

Merlin touched his face, adjusting his squared, thick-rimmed frames before smiling. His cheeks tinted in pink, his eyes turning back to the icy-blue. It was amusing to Arthur how this man could go from dominantly Alpha to now a meek person. He swallowed past his dry throat at the flare of heat in his body, though. Merlin with those glasses was a good look. 

“They’re just reading glasses,” Merlin said. “Guess I forgot to take them off when I rushed over here.”

“Idiot,” Arthur said, fondly. 

Merlin chuckled, taking the glasses off before tossing them to the small table at the entrance of the door. Arthur almost mourned at the loss of that look. Almost. The brunet’s smile faded then, a cautious look crossed his face. He took a step towards him before he once again placed his hands on Arthur’s hip, trapping him against the wall. Slightly intrigued at that, he remained there, staring back into those eyes. 

“You were avoiding me,” Merlin said, his voice held a hint of sadness. 

Arthur’s heart squeezed in his chest. “I…didn’t. Merlin—”

“Your scent shifts into something bitter when you’re lying, Arthur.” Merlin’s voice had been flat causing Arthur to flinch. “Babe, what happened?”

“Nothing,” Arthur said, his heart warming at the pet name. He placed both of his hands on Merlin’s face. “I was busy with work. And…got caught in my head. Scared me.”

It wasn’t a lie. And he sighed in relief when the sadness slightly vanished from those eyes he loved so much. A hand touched his face, thumb caressing his face. 

“What’s been bothering you?” Merlin said. “You can tell me, you know. I’ll listen.”

“I know,” Arthur said, nervousness bubbling at the pit of his stomach. “Can we…can we move this to my bedroom? My bed. I think if we’re going to discuss this…then it’s best to get comfortable.”

Merlin searched his face before he nodded, taking a step back before intertwining his right hand with Arthur’s. “Show me where your room is then.”

Arthur pulled him to his room, not even the slightest hesitation in his steps. His heart became full when Merlin glanced around, his lips curling into a smile as he took his place in. When Arthur sat at the edge of the bed, the brunet followed, sitting next to him. 

“I like it here,” Merlin said. “Your scent is more saturated here. It’s nice.”

Arthur’s cheeks heated up, a pleased smile crossed his lips. “I like your scent in here too. It mixes well with my space.”

Merlin tossed an arm across his shoulders and dragged him close, pressing his lips to the side of his face. “Is it too soon to tell you I really like you?”

Arthur froze at the confession, his heart skipping a beat. He pulled away to look at Merlin in the face before he fidgeted, the guilt now intensifying. Merlin pulled him closer, his smile waning from his face as his gaze sharpened. The silence between them now shifted into something tenser. Gone was the calmness from before. 

And Arthur knew then that he should speak. 

“I…I don’t know how to say this,” Arthur said, voice soft. “All I know is that I’m…afraid.”

Merlin pulled his arm away before he turned his body to properly look at him. “Afraid of what?”

Arthur opened his mouth before he closed it. He couldn’t find the right words to say. He didn’t want to hurt the Alpha’s feelings but maybe it would do better to be honest. Like he should’ve been. 

“I can’t give you children,” Arthur said, the words now echoing into the air. He choked on his words afterwards when those eyes widened. He touched Merlin’s hand, fear striking his chest that the Alpha would leave. “I…can’t give you a family. Like you wanted. I…I am an Alpha and you’re an Alpha. We can’t…reproduce. I’ve been trying to contemplate on how to fulfil your wish to have a family but I can’t do anything about it.”

“Arthur,” Merlin whispered. “What the hell are you talking about?”

The blond-haired man flinched at the confusion colouring the man’s voice. He ducked his head as he took in a deep breath. “You want a family,” he said. “I can’t give that to you, not naturally like how another Beta or an Omega could. I don’t want you to be unhappy, Merlin. I really like you too but I can’t—”

Merlin pressed a hand over his mouth, stopping him from speaking. “Sorry, am I getting this right that you’re telling me you can’t give me a family because you can’t get pregnant?”

Arthur’s face coloured. He yanked his face away from the hand. “You want a family! Obviously you would want one that’s made out of both of us. But I can’t give you that! And I don’t want to rob you from that privilege, not when I know there’ll be others who could give that to you. Even Freya had mentioned that it was your dream. And if I can’t fulfil that to make you happy, I…don’t deserve you.”

Merlin pulled his hands away, running his fingers through his hair. The smell of smoke and ink now had a sour hint to it, enough to send Arthur’s own instincts haywire. It was the first time he smelt something like this from the man and he could deduce easily what this meant. Merlin was angry. When those eyes landed on his face, there was a hint of redness that had him wanted to bare his neck. 

“Arthur,” Merlin said, “luv, you…I never meant to make you carry that burden. Of course I know we can’t reproduce naturally. I’m not asking for an impossible here. Hell, I’m not even _asking_ anything to do with that.”

“But you will, one day,” Arthur said, swallowing the ache in his chest. “And what then? I’m not even sure if I’ll make a good father. But I know you can. You’re the kindest man I ever met, Merlin. I can’t help but to wonder just how many other things I would have to tell you no to because I can’t—”

“Then you tell me no and we’ll work it out,” Merlin said, cutting him off with frustration leaking in his voice. Before Arthur could argue, the brunet grabbed his face with both of his hands, caressing his cheek. “Arthur, I don’t want anything more than what you’re willing to give. Why would I demand for something that makes you unhappy?”

“And then you get to be unhappy?” Arthur snapped. “I noticed you tend to like being self-sacrificial. Are you going to keep going with what I want even if that had been your dream? You want children, you can’t deny that.”

“I don’t deny it!” Merlin said. “But it doesn’t mean I’ll choose that over you!”

“What if you resent me for that?” Arthur said. 

Merlin took in a deep breath, dropping his hands to squeeze Arthur’s thighs. “Darling, you’re getting stuck on ‘what if’s.” 

Those few words struck deep inside of him. “But those ‘what if’s’ can be reality.”

Merlin licked his lips before he sat straighter. “Okay, listen close,” he said. “I do want a family. I do want children. I…grew up as an only child with my mother. I always wanted to have a big family. To be surrounded by that familial warmth.” He hesitated, looking like he was searching for the right words. “But…that was before I met you. I found warmth with you. Did you know my heart becomes less empty when you’re around? Arthur, with such little time, you became my everything.” 

Arthur’s eyes watered before he dropped his hands on Merlin’s. “I want you to be happy,” he whispered. “I don’t know if I can make you happy.”

“You already are,” Merlin whispered, catching his eyes with a gentle smile. “You thinking so much about me and what I want…it frustrates me that I haven’t been able to ease your insecurities but darling, your worries make me happy. You care for me and fuck, I’m a lucky man to have you worry about me that much. Plus, there’s other ways we can have a family if we want it, Arthur.”

Arthur let those words sink into his head, shame filling his mind. “What if you want one that is made up of you and me?”

“I admit, that would be nice,” he said. “But it’s also not a requirement. If we want children, we’ll figure it out. There’s adoption, surrogacy, there’s other things on the table.” He reached a hand to touch his chin, tipping Arthur’s face until their met again. “And if you don’t want children, that’s fine too.”

“Will you really be happy if I said no?” he whispered.

“Yeah,” Merlin said. “You have no idea how much I want you, Arthur. I would give up anything to keep you.”

Arthur moved to straddle Merlin’s lap and hugged him tight. “I would give up everything to keep you too, Merlin. Or in this case, make you happy. I keep lamenting that we’re both Alphas. That I’m not good enough to keep you happy.”

“Dolt,” Merlin whispered against him as he placed a hand on his back and the other at the back of his head. “I love you.”

Arthur froze. Didn’t he just say he really liked him? His thoughts began to run miles per minute but ultimately, he couldn’t deny the burst of happiness inside of him. He pulled away to look at Merlin’s face, the seriousness clearly reflected in those eyes. 

“I love you,” Merlin repeated. “I love you, not for your secondary gender. I couldn’t care less what you are, Arthur. And anyone who tries to change my mind can suck my dick.”

Arthur ended up smiling wide, though he couldn’t help but to add, “I would rather no one sucked your dick.”

Merlin rolled his eyes, fondness covering his face before he sighed. “I’m being serious here. Arthur, you don’t have to be scared to share what you’re thinking. I won’t force you to do something you’re not comfortable with.”

Arthur shifted on his lap. “I’m sorry, I know I should’ve talked to you about it. I…just can’t…stop feeling inferior.”

Merlin dragged his hands down to grasp his hip. “It’s alright. We’ll work on that. I told you, didn’t I? I’ll show you that you’re fine just the way you are.” After a beat he added, “About Freya…I’m sorry she placed that doubt in your head. She’s always been overprotective but that crossed the line.”

“But she had a point,” Arthur whispered. “I don’t know if I can even be a good father, Merlin. I didn’t grow up with the best role model.”

Merlin hummed. “I don’t think anyone knows how to be a father, to be honest. It’s a learning process.”

“You’re a born natural from what I saw,” Arthur said, earning a series of chuckle. 

“I’m not, trust me,” Merlin said, whispering against him. “Plus…if one day we decide to have children, I think you’ll make a great father. You’re nothing like your father. I refuse to believe you are like him.”

Arthur opened his mouth to argue only to stop himself. Because…he couldn’t help the warmth that washed over him at that. The assurance that he wasn’t anything like what he feared. He hugged Merlin tighter. 

“I could be in love with you too,” Arthur said. “I’m still in disbelief that you chose me, that you want me. And I can’t help but hope this lasts.”

“This will last,” Merlin said, confidence dripping in his tone. “We’ll get through all of the challenges together, alright?” 

And Arthur believed him. He nodded, burying his face against his shoulder before nudging his nose to his scent gland, one that the brunet gladly gave him. As they remained seated like that for a few seconds, the blond took the time to comprehend what they had said. What they had discussed. Gripping tight, his protectiveness flared within him. He was starting to get convinced that there was no one better for him than Merlin. Maybe he was a bit too good for him but as long as the brunet held onto him like this, he wouldn’t let him go. 

Even if he would get scared and tried to run. 

“How long have you known Freya?” Arthur asked, quietly. 

Merlin hummed. He had assumed that the Alpha would be amused but he simply said seriously, “Since I was five.”

That was a long time. He pulled away to look at Merlin in the eyes. Being with him since five-years-old. That was a privilege and he felt like a brat for being jealous of that. Something must’ve shown on his face because the next thing he knew, he was tipped on his back with Merlin hovering over him, settling between his legs with a charming grin. The blond-haired man melted into the sheets, keeping his hands firmly on those shoulders. It didn’t alarm him that he was so relaxed underneath him. Any other Alpha would have set his flight or fight instincts off, but the brunet had always managed to calm him down enough to forget that they were two Alphas. 

“Why’re you asking?” Merlin asked, humming as he brushed a few blond hair from his forehead. 

Searching his face, Arthur said, “Nothing. I’m just curious.”

“Curious about what?” Merlin brought his lips to press against Arthur’s lips into a brief, chaste kiss that stole his breath. When his face heated up again, the Alpha simply sighed. “You’re so pretty.”

He could only snort a little under his breath, his chest warm. Placing a hand on his face, he caressed Merlin’s soft skin. “You’re pretty too,” he said. 

“Curious about what?” Merlin prodded again, scooting downwards a little before he settled on his chest.

Immediately, Arthur placed a hand on that messy hair. A part of him was surprised at how soft it was. “I…I’m wondering if Freya ever liked you. Or wanted you.”

Merlin remained quiet for a second before he perched his chin to look up at him. “She might’ve. At least, she once did.”

Arthur stiffened at that only to relax again when Merlin smiled, softly. “Oh?”

Merlin raised himself on his hands, his hair falling messily on his face, but one that still managed to make him look handsome. “I’m pretty sure she used to like me back when we were in high school. She smelt of honeysuckle whenever she was close to me. I didn’t know what that meant until she fell for someone else.” He sighed, leaning on his elbows now. “Are you jealous, darling?”

Arthur opened his mouth to deny before he closed it. “Yes,” he said, deciding to be honest. Merlin’s eyes widened before he grinned. “It’s not funny. She might still be in love with you from how she acted around me.”

“I love her as a friend,” he said. “But she will never compete with you. You’re it for me.”

Arthur flushed under his gaze. He didn’t have anything else to add to that, simply pressing his hands at the side of Merlin’s neck andbringing him close to his face. Their noses brushed and he found himself wanting to stay here for as long as he could. That thought must’ve crossed his Alpha’s mind too because the next thing he knew, his body was firmly up against his and his face pressed against his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around him, hooking a leg over his slim waist. 

He loved his scent and he wanted to forever be surrounded by him like this. 

His Alpha. 

That had a nice ring. “Merlin,” he murmured, his mind growing hazy when butterfly kisses on his shoulder reached his neck. He tilted his head with a soft sigh, closing his eyes as he was being scented again. “I thought you scented me enough.”

“Not enough,” Merlin murmured as a hand reached his waist, holding him there. “Can I?”

“Yeah,” the blond-haired man whispered, burying a hand through his hair once more. When those lips kissing him briefly became more than just pecks and heading straight into nipping, he could only breathlessly smile into his shoulder, holding him tighter against him. His heart hammered against his chest as he said, “You’re my Alpha now, aren’t you?”

Merlin froze. It was just a brief moment before he gently bit near his scent gland, sending a spark of pleasure running down his spine. Gasping, he snapped open his eyes, heart stuttering to a stop for a millisecond when Merlin pulled away to stare at him. A thumb touched the bottom of his lips as those icy-blue eyes now held a hint of redness in them. 

“Your Alpha,” the brunet whispered, a hint of growl in his words that had him wanting to smile at. “Yes, your Alpha. I like that. And you’re mine.” He leaned down closer until their noses brushed. His lips was so close to his face and Arthur almost arched to kiss him when he was stopped with a word. A word that had set his body alight, bringing back the fire that had been briefly distinguished. “ _Mine_.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said before he wrapped a hand at the nape of his neck and dragged him down to kiss him fully. It wasn’t a beautiful kiss, but it was still a passionate one. He could only hope to have this forever. As he opened his mouth, allowing the Alpha to take control, he could only pull him closer. “ _Alpha_.”

Merlin tore his mouth away from Arthur to press their foreheads together, breathing harshly as a hand on his hip sunk underneath his shirt to touch his skin. He arched into the touch, breathing just as fast. 

“I want you,” the brunet said, closing his eyes as he hung his head, taking in a deep breath. “Fuck, where’s your bath—”

Arthur hooked a leg over his waist and pulled him down, biting his inner cheek from letting out a sound at the hardness poking at him, no doubt from the man on top of him. There was this wash of relief that Merlin _could_ get hard with him. At the thought of being with him. And it made things considerably real. Because, here he was. 

Here he was without an ounce of judgement on his…lover’s face. 

“Arthur?” Merlin said, his eyes still red though a pained look crossed his face. “You really need to let me go if you don’t want this to escalate.”

“I…Would it be bad if it did?” Arthur said. “I want you too.”

Merlin searched his face. Unlike the deep kiss, the brunet touched his face, cradling his cheek. “Aren’t we going a little too fast?”

“It feels right,” Arthur whispered. “Unless you’re not ready.” A little ashamed that he was thinking with his dick than his mind, he almost let him go when Merlin grabbed his thigh and held him there, leaning forward before kissing him deeply once more. “Merlin?”

“I want you too,” Merlin whispered as he dragged a hand underneath his shirt again, touching his stomach. “I want to see you bare for me. I want to kiss you all over and…I just want you.”

Arthur searched his face before he kissed him a bit and nodded. “I want you too.”

Merlin pulled away before he said, “Do you have condoms and lube?”

Arthur tried to sit up only for a hand to on his chest pressing him down back on his bed, forcing air out of his breath. When those red eyes landed on him, his heart skipped a beat and the heat at his groin doubled. With a breath hitched in his throat, he could only point at the bedside table. Merlin stretched to grab the first drawer, not even waiting for him to tell him which one it was, expertly finding the condom and lube. 

“How do you want to do this?” Merlin asked, his voice uncharacteristically soft for the bleeding red eyes that no doubt screamed of impatience. 

“How do you mean?” Arthur said, sitting up a bit to take off his shirt, yelping when Merlin slammed him down on the bed again to stare at him, hungrily taking every inch of his revealed skin. A hand touched his stomach again, caressing his skin, sending shivers running down his spine. He placed a hand on Merlin’s, halting him. Looking at him in the eyes, he smiled. “However you want.”

“No,” Merlin said, stopping Arthur. “No, I mean, how do you want to do this? All the way or not? You on top or me?”

“Oh,” Arthur said, flushing once again as he contemplated on them. A little fearful doubt once more settled in the crevices of his mind. He opened his mouth to speak only for him to quieten. “I don’t know,” he said, deciding to settle with that. 

Merlin only tapped at his own nose, raising his eyebrows. “You’re lying. Again.”

He winced. “Well…”

“Speak to me,” Merlin said. “Or else I’m not proceeding. I don’t want to do anything you don’t want. Consent’s sexy, babe.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Arthur said, ears burning as he tossed an arm over his face. Merlin only grabbed his wrist, gently pulling it away. “Merlin…”

“No hiding, now come on,” Merlin said, smiling. He pressed a kiss in between his eyebrows at the furrow. “Tell me.”

“You on top,” Arthur said, blurting it out. “I…I told you before that I—just want to be taken care of sometimes.”

His eyes sparkled in understanding before he kissed his cheek. “Okay, and how far do we want to go?”

“Can we…just do until we feel like it?” Arthur whispered, wrapping a hand at the side of Merlin’s neck to keep him close to his face. “I just want to feel you now.”

Merlin hesitated for a second before he said, “And you will tell me if you don’t want it?”

“Yes.” Arthur actually whined then when Merlin still hesitated. “Either we’re doing this or not. Come on, Merlin.”

A chuckle escaped his lips before he nodded. “Just tell me no if you don’t want it anymore, okay?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Arthur said, smiling though exasperation leaked in his tone anyway. “Alpha, come on. Don’t make me beg.”

“Maybe next time,” Merlin murmured, his voice growing deeper. Before he could argue, Merlin kissed him again, the green light allowed him to roam his hands all over his body, skirting close to the edge of his pants. “So pretty.”

“Love me,” Arthur whispered and that was what Merlin did.

As he kissed him all over, keeping things slow with every touch and whisper against his skin, Arthur was sure he did the right thing. He loved Merlin and that was a realisation that didn’t scare him. While he knew insecurities would still haunt him time to time, the— _his_ Alpha took them away with each smile and love. With everything he did to him, he could only let himself get swept under his rhythm. 

Even when Merlin whispered his love to his lips before kissing him, he couldn’t find the tendrils of fear that usually appeared when his partners reached this stage of their relationship. And it only tightened the space in his chest to make it Merlin-shaped. 

By the time his skin cooled from the sweat and the pleasure leaving his body to have him melting into the sheets with Merlin next to him, he could only wish for this moment to last. 

“I love you,” Arthur whispered against his skin as he pillowed his head on his Alpha’s chest. The grip on his body tightened before a hot kiss was pressed on the top of his head. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Merlin said. “Me too, Arthur.”

***

“We’re dating, right?” Merlin asked as Arthur sipped on his coffee, leaning against the counter. He almost spit out his drink, staring at the man who was on his kitchen island, swinging his legs in nothing but a pair of pyjama pants and shirtless. His cheeks reddened as he recalled what had happen hours ago before they fell asleep. A smirk was on those swollen pink lips, taking in his face. “Arthur?”

“Yes,” Arthur said, nodding as he looked away, sipping his coffee again. “Of course we are.”

“Okay, just wanted to make sure,” Merlin said, grinning. “Fuck, you look so pretty with my marks all over you.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said, deadpanning as he glared at the brunet, face now hot. He subconsciously touched his neck, _knowing_ there were more than necessary bruises and bite marks, some too close to create a bond mark. And that thought wasn’t…frightening. A bit too soon, though. At the end, he could only murmur, “I like them on me.” He pointed at Merlin’s chest. “You look pretty with my marks on you too.”

“I like it too,” Merlin said, echoing him as he splayed a hand across his own chest, covering one particular bruise near his collarbone. “My lover’s so possessive of me. Makes me happy.”

“I think that’s you,” Arthur said, dryly. “Who’s the one who mauled me the second I gave the green light?”

“You weren’t complaining, were you?” Merlin shot back, grinning when Arthur spluttered in his coffee. “Sorry, I’ll stop. I don’t need you to choke on coffee and die before marrying you.”

Arthur choked for real this time. He slammed his mug on the counter, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he coughed. Merlin hopped down from the island and lessened the distance between them before he gently cradled his face, eyebrows furrowed. 

“You okay?” Merlin said, worry tinging in his words. 

“Fine,” Arthur rasped, clearing his throat when the coughs subsided. He looked at the icy-blue eyes, wondering if that had been a joke. “I’ll try not to die before then,” he said, faking nonchalance. 

Merlin smiled, softly before he tilted his head up and kissed him, chaste, on his forehead. “Good. Because I really want you as my forever.”

A hand touched the side of his neck, one he freely bared to Merlin without hesitation. His breath hitched in his throat when his thumb circled his scent gland before pressing on a bite mark that had been a bit too deep. 

“Yeah,” Arthur said, faintly. And strangely, he didn’t find that notion to be hateful. “Are you talking about really marrying me?”

“And bonding you,” Merlin said, sucking his bottom lip before releasing it, eyes zeroed on his neck. “I can’t help but imagine it sometimes.”

“It’ll be hard,” Arthur said. “Some people say the mark won’t be as permanent as one on an Omega.”

“Then we’ll have the privilege to keep renewing,” Merlin said with a careless shrug. “Imagine bonding with you every time I have you, that’s a nice thought.”

Arthur closed his mouth shut, silently agreeing that despite the slight heartache that he couldn’t keep the mark permanently on his neck, he liked the thought of renewing it too. Merlin wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into a hug, one that Arthur hugged him back. 

“Everything will work out,” Merlin said, as if he had read his doubts. “I promise.”

He sighed. “I trust you,” he whispered. “Always.”

“Me too.”

***

It was easy. Being in a relationship with Merlin and he sometimes wondered if he was living in a dream. But then Merlin would kiss him and do something that would remind him that no…this was real, and his heart would tighten in his chest. And slowly but surely, the fear that he wouldn't be able to keep him faded the longer the brunet stayed with him. 

Gwen smiled when he entered the coffee shop where he was meeting with the gang. Lancelot had his head on her shoulder, playing with his phone while Percival was busy reading something. He grinned, taking a seat next to Percival. 

“Look who’s all radiant,” Lancelot said, smiling as he sat up. “You smell happy, mate.”

Arthur chuckled as he scratched the back of his neck. “I am happy,” he admitted at last. 

“Good,” Gwen said before she winked and tapped at her own neck. Arthur slapped a hand over the place, knowing what it was she was pointing at. His face reddened a bit but his smile could only grow bigger. “I’m glad you’re happy, Arthur.”

“Yeah,” Percival said. “Now, when are we meeting him?”

“Oh yes,” Lancelot said, his eyes glinting. “I would like to see the one who turned out to be my best friend’s True Pair.”

Arthur snorted under his breath. “Maybe soon,” he said, making a point to ask Merlin about his free time so they could meet for dinner. At the thought of his friends, Freya’s face flashed in his mind, causing his smile to waver just a bit. “I think I would need to prove to his friends that I’m good.”

“What do you mean?” Gwen said. “

Arthur licked his bottom lip before he said, “Merlin has a childhood friend. She…hates me. I think it’s because she’s always had him and I think I took him away?”

“Ah,” Gwen said. “Have you tried to talk to her?”

“Well,” Arthur said, humming. “Not really. I didn’t get a chance to yet. But she kept glaring at me every time she saw me, so it’s not like I could.”

“Well, her loss then,” Lancelot said, carelessly. “Merlin chose you. If she supports him, she would see how much you make him happy and accept it.”

“You don’t even know if I make him happy,” Arthur shot back though his hear skipped a beat at that notion. 

“Do you?” Gwen said. 

“He said I do,” Arthur admitted, sinking a little into the seat. 

“I know you, Arthur,” Lancelot said. “You’d probably do something stupid if fear got to you. But from what you’ve been telling us about Merlin, I think he’s the type of guy who’s good for you. And you’re a good guy. I doubt you don’t make him happy.”

An arm was tossed over his shoulder by Percival, pulling him close to his chest. “Yeah,” Percival said, handing him a biscuit, one which Arthur took with a small thanks. “Just give me her name and I’ll make her poof.”

“You can’t even hurt a goddamn fly, mate,” Lancelot said, dryly. “Don’t need to act all tough.”

Arthur chuckled as he bit his biscuit. “No…I’ll talk to her. I have to deal with her if I’m going to be with Merlin anyway. I…love him. And I would make an effort to be friends with people he cares about.”

Gwen smiled softer. “I’m happy for you, Arthur. You deserve this happiness.”

Arthur ducked his head, not being able to say anything as that hit deep in his chest. He hadn’t realised that he did either, until Merlin walked into his life. He froze when the familiar scent of smoke and ink wafted into his nose. And a second later, a figure stood next to him. 

He snapped his head up and his breath hitched in his throat at the curious look on Merlin’s face. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said. 

“Hey, babe,” Merlin said before he blinked, turning to look at his friends. Gwen, Lancelot and Percival all stared at him before chaos erupted. Before Arthur could blink, Merlin was dragged to sit next to him and they all stared at him. “Hello…I’m Merlin Emrys. Arthur’s boyfriend.”

“Oh, we know who you are,” Gwen said, eyes sparkling. “I met you that day!”

Merlin searched her face before he grinned. “You’re the pretty Omega!”

“ _Excuse me_?” Lancelot said, narrowing his gaze at Merlin. “That’s my wife you’re talking about, mate.”

“Ah, what a good looking couple you guys make,” Merlin teased, Lancelot relaxing though he eyed Merlin for a second before he rolled his eyes, wrapping his arm across her shoulders and pulling her close. “I jest. Gwaine told me I’m gong to get punched one day for being automatically complimentary.”

“Flirtatious,” Arthur said, frowning. 

Merlin snapped his head to look at him before he gently smiled at him. “Only eyes on you, babe. Sorry, I’m still working on that.”

Arthur relaxed before he shook his head. “I know you don’t mean anything serious with it,” he said, touching his hand and smiling when Merlin relaxed. “What are you doing here?”

“I…” Merlin said before he eyed Percival’s arm across his shoulder. He cleared his throat before he looked away to look at Gwen and Lancelot. “I saw you and…you just looked so happy here. Before I knew it, I’m here.”

Arthur smiled. “I’m glad you’re here,” he said before he pointed at his friends. “I’ve been meaning to introduce you to my friends.”

Merlin beamed, looking pleased at that prospect as he intertwined their fingers under the table. “You were?”

“Yeah,” Arthur said, earning a quick kiss on his cheek that had Gwen squealing in happiness. “Merlin!”

“I’m Gwen,” she said, catching his lover’s attention. “This is my husband, Lancelot. And that’s Percival.”

Merlin tossed another look at Percival and Arthur could smell the hint of something acidic in his scent. Ah. Arthur snorted under his breath before he gently pushed Percival’s arm from his shoulder. His best friend grinned, looking too happy with himself, a clear sign he did that on purpose. 

“We’re just friends,” Percival said, looking straight into Merlin’s eyes. “All this guy talks about is you every time we meet, so no competition here, mate.”

Merlin’s cheeks reddened. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be disrespectful.”

“No worries,” Percival said. “I understand. As long as you don’t suddenly go caveman and lock my friend up from me, we’re good.” He narrowed his eyes. “Because Alpha or not, you try to do that kind of stuff, I can break you into pieces.”

“Was that a shovel talk?” Merlin said, relaxing as he lessened the distance between Arthur and him, their shoulders brushing. In a more serious tone, he said, “I won’t. I won’t dictate who he can talk and he can’t. Plus,” he said, glancing at Arthur. “I trust him.”

“I can tell why Arthur is so gone for you,” Lancelot said, grinning when Arthur glared at him. “What? You can’t tell me that isn’t true.”

Merlin chuckled, tightening his grip on his hand. “And…I love him too.” 

Arthur’s throat tightened up at that easy declaration. Once again, he waited for the wash of fear, the urge to run. But it wasn’t there. It just wasn’t there. He could only mutely smile, his eyes most likely watering though he wouldn’t let them drop here. When he glanced at his friends, they all shared a look of happiness and…relief. Relief that Arthur found happiness. 

And he was glad too.

***

“Your friends are great,” Merlin said as he took a seat next to him on the couch. Arthur decided to bring him here after the meeting with his friends, just the need to be close to him. “I’m glad you have such great friends, Arthur.”

“Even Percival?” he teased, earning a snort under his breath. Merlin wrapped an arm across his shoulder and dragged him close, pressing his lips at the side of his head. 

“Even Percival,” he said, admitting it. “You smell happy.”

“Lancelot said that too,” he said as he sighed, settling next to Merlin and relaxing against him. “I am happy.” He took in a deep breath of the smoke and ink, the acidity was gone. “You smell happy too.”

“I am happy,” Merlin said, slinking into his seat. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Arthur said. “You know…in my previous relationships, when we get here—it’s always them who fall first. And…I’m the one who runs.” He sat up straighter, looking at those icy-blue eyes. “Now…every time those words come out of your mouth, all I wanna do is stick with you closer.”

Merlin cupped a hand over his cheek. “No running away?”

“No,” Arthur said. “None at all.”

Merlin grinned then. “Makes me feel smug to hear that.”

Arthur only sighed, smiling. “Idiot.”

“Prat.” Merlin kissed him softly, pulling away a second later as his thumb caressed his cheek. 

“I’m going to try my best to change Freya’s mind about me,” he said, earnestly. 

“Honey,” Merlin said, taking Arthur aback with another new pet name. This man never ran out of it and…he kind of liked it. “You don’t need to impress anyone. If she doesn’t like you even after the many times you guys met, then I don’t want you to keep trying and getting hurt.”

“She means a lot to you,” Arthur said. “She’s your childhood friend.”

Merlin remained quiet before he sighed. “Yeah, she is. And she does mean a lot to me. When…when my mother died, she was the one who was always there for me. Even when my shitty ex broke up with me because I was too much of a burden…she was there. She’s my only remaining family.” He added, almost quietly. “I can’t leave her, Arthur. I…can tell her to knock her attitude off, though.”

Arthur shook his head. “I know you can’t leave her. I’m not asking you too.” He looked at him in the eyes. “I would never…I might not understand why she hates me but it’s…I won’t ever force you to not be friends with someone. Especially someone you deem as family.” 

Merlin looked relieved. “You would be surprised how many people would want that…”

“Your exes?” Arthur questioned, carefully. Merlin nodded.

“I’m not them,” he said. “Because she’s your family, that’s why I want to make amends with her.”

“Why are you so perfect?” Merlin whined, earning a chuckle from Arthur. “But if you get upset…I’m going to get mad at her,” he said, voice serious. “I don’t want anyone to hurt you, not even Freya.”

“She won’t hurt me,” Arthur said. “I…at least want to talk to her properly.”

Merlin stared at him for a few seconds before he dragged him into a hug. “You don’t have to do anything for me, you know.”

“I do,” Arthur said, vehemently. “I love you. I want to make you happy too. So, don’t argue with me on this.”

Merlin only relaxed in his embrace, nodding. “I love you too, so goddamn much.”

***

Tackling Freya figuratively was a hard task. But one that Arthur was dedicated to do. Merlin had kissed and scented him before he went to meet his client, muttering a ‘Consulting day’ or something as he left Arthur in his office. He knew Freya would come around. She often did, mostly under the pretence of finding something for Merlin. He sometimes wondered if she had something more to say to him but she often simply glared before leaving or lingered around, keeping an eye on him. 

This time, he didn’t let the silence settle. The second she stepped into the office, Arthur closed the sketchbook he had been looking, startling her to stop. Her wide eyes stared at him before she narrowed them. 

“I’m in love with Merlin,” Arthur said, blurting it out. Freya froze for a second before she lessened the distance between them and sat down, crossing her legs, one on top of the other. “And he loves me too.”

“I know,” Freya said, huffing. “Merlin told me the other day. After he went home smelling like you with marks all over his neck. You an animal? Mauling him like that.” There was a hint of fond exasperation in her voice that Arthur was picking up. 

And he wondered…

“Are you in love with him?” Arthur asked her. 

She simply stared at him before she snorted. “That airhead? No. I used to, back when I was a teen but that was more because I never met a kind Alpha besides him before. The village we were in was full of old-fashioned knotheads.” 

Arthur winced. He had met a few by accident here and they were the very poison of humanity. He hated them too. 

“Oh,” he said, deciding to trust her on that. “Then…why do you hate me?”

“Hate you?” Freya said, frowning. She tilted her head back a little. “Nah, I don’t hate you. I just…am being wary of you.” She turned to look at him. “Merlin’s special to me. I’m his only family right now and I take that very seriously. You don’t need to flatter yourself. Every boyfriend of his gets this treatment from me.” Arthur blinked. “But…you’re the only one who really tried to speak to me.”

“What do you mean?” Arthur asked. “If you’re in love with someone, wouldn’t you want to get along with their friends?”

“I mean, yeah,” Freya said. “But the guys Merlin dated were either stupid,” she said, ticking a finger. “Or straight up assholes. They see me glaring at them and they think I’m an Omega bitch and avoid me at all cost. Going as far as telling Merlin to drop me like a hot potato.”

“I heard from him about that,” Arthur said. 

“They’re assholes,” Freya said. “I know Merlin gets protective over them when he was dating them. But he’s always taken my thoughts into consideration.” She looked at him. “He told me you got upset when I spoke to you about his dream to have a family. I’m sorry.” She looked away, sighing. “I didn’t mean to make you upset. Or put doubts in your head. I just wanted you to think about it. Because…he’s _my_ family too, Arthur. I don’t want him to get hurt.” 

“I…don’t want to hurt him either,” he said, honestly. “I want to make him happy too. I don’t want to ever make him sad. And I’ll do anything in my power to keep him happy.” 

She glanced at him. “You’ll just have to prove it to me,” she said, quietly. “Because if you ever make him cry, I will kick you where the sun doesn’t shine.”

He smiled. “I believe you.”

“Arthur?” Merlin said, walking into his office before he stopped short at them both. He tensed briefly, eyeing them both. “You guys okay?”

“Oh, stop loitering around like some Alpha,” Freya snapped, standing up. “Your boyfriend’s not going to get eaten, Merlin.” She paused before she turned to look at the blond-haired man. “Remember what I said. Make him sad and I’ll end you.” After a beat she added, “At least you’re not like the rest of his awful boyfriends.”

“Freya,” Merlin whined as the Omega walked away, slapping his shoulder. He rubbed his arm before he looked at Arthur, hesitating a bit before he moved to sit next to him. Arthur scrunched his nose at the smell of other scents on him. “So…”

“I hate your ex-boyfriends,” Arthur said, flatly. Merlin chortled. “I think Freya and I…will be okay.”

He relaxed next to him. “Good…She doesn’t mean harm, you know. She’s just…overprotective.”

“For good reasons,” Arthur said. “It seems like you have terrible taste in men.”

“Hey,” Merlin said, shifting closer to him. “My man now isn’t terrible. Don’t say that about him.”

Arthur cheeks reddened before he snagged Merlin’s shirt, pulling him close. “Can I scent you?”

Merlin grinned, nodding. “Of course, babe. Gonna drench me in your scent, huh?”

Arthur hummed, cupping a hand behind his neck and pulling him close. What he didn’t expect was for Merlin to push him flat against his back, straddling his waist with a sharper grin. His heart skipped a beat when a hand carded through his blond hair, gently trying to bare his neck. Arthur made a noise under his breath as he did. 

“I don’t like you smelling like others,” he said with a huff, closing his eyes when Merlin scented him too. “I want you to only smell like me.”

“You too,” Merlin said, voice low again like it did every time he got into these moods. One that sent his blood boiling in the most pleasant way possible. “Only smell like me.”

“Like us,” Arthur said, smiling when he opened his eyes, Merlin staring at his face, mirroring his face. “I didn’t know going into an old music store would make me meet you.”

“I’m glad you came by,” Merlin whispered, cradling his jaw. “Meant to be mine.”

“Meant to be yours, huh?” Arthur grinned, sinking into the warmth of his hand. “And you’re meant to be mine.”

“Always,” Merlin said as he leaned in close and kissed him, once again drowning him in his love. And as he held him tight, making sure there was no space between them, he wanted to hold onto this forever. 

That one trip to the music store had led him to a life changing experience and he wouldn't ever give this up. While he knew that they still had a long way to go, he was ready for it. 

He had to be. He loved Merlin too much to go now. 

As he stared into the icy-blue eyes tinted in red filled with desire and love, the hole in his chest filled and the horrible, hurtful words his father tried to engrave in his head died. 

“I love you,” Arthur whispered against his lips. 

Merlin didn’t even hesitate to say, “I love you too.”

* * *

** the end  **


End file.
